TDDK: Nightmares

[mightdoriya]

[It had been over a year since that fateful summer at U.A. that resulted in dozens of students being injured and one of them kidnapped by Villains. It had been the sole reason the dorm system was introduced for safety reasons, seeing as no matter what kinds of precautions were taken, they were found and attacked anyway. Naturally, the suggestion of attempting another summer training camp had initially been vetoed by all teachers involved, the point was made that not having it anymore at all could be detrimental to the students, especially when they always used these camps as opportunities to train themselves for upcoming tests, exams, and internships. To deprive them of it would be unfair, so a compromise had to be reached: taking the students to an utterly remote location with more chaperones than feasibly necessary, as well as requiring them all to pair up in rooms in separate cabins to ensure their safety. It was a lot of work, but a necessary evil to both allow this as well as keep the students safe.

So far, a few days into the endeavor with both 1 and 2B taking part, things seemed to be going off without a hitch. It had also been agreed upon that first years wouldn't be allowed the opportunity to go on these camps, hoping that with age and experience it would make things a bit less stressful for everyone involved. Boys and girls were placed into their own cabins with the classes intermingling, two or three students to a room and randomized for fairness. Well, at least until Monoma and Katsuki had been randomly placed together, a problem immediately rectified before it could result in disaster.

Izuku didn't mind rooming with Shouto. Far from it, actually. Over the last two years of knowing him, they'd formed a friendship out of an initially rocky introduction. They were rivals absolutely, but close well beyond that. Izuku enjoyed spending time with him despite his dryness and blunt sort of personality. There was a lot more to him beyond just that. A lot...more. Izuku watched and picked up on every nuance and detail to the point where he wondered sometimes if that was weird.

No, it's fine. What friends don't want to know everything about their friends, right?

It had been fine regardless. Days of training were tiring but fulfilling, and after the third day of the week the students all got together and made a fiercely spicy curry that was well received despite how warm the summer had been. It was common that everyone turned in early since they were all exhausted from the day, so you rarely had anyone staying up late being loud or anything like that...Izuku knew of a handful who would put a stop to that right away if it were ever a problem, anyway. So, with their futons laid out side-by-side, Izuku settled down to sleep with Shouto potentially already asleep beside him. He'd noticed the other boy tended to not move a lot in his sleep and was very quiet, so he never knew for sure really...

Sometimes though...even after a relatively normal and unnoteworthy day, the mind had a habit of going off the rails unbidden. That's exactly how Izuku's subconscious decided to treat him tonight, mere hours into the evening. It felt real to the point where it was staggering, unable to realize in the moment that everything happened was actually all fabricated. Visions of a world chaotic, falling immediately into despair and ruin following the fall of the nation's greatest hero. Because despite what his mind knew was the truth, it was hard to believe the sentiment that All Might had actually died during that final battle with All For One. In his despair, Izuku couldn't remember that- no- that isn't how things actually went. He could only focus on the tragedy and how he not only had lost his hero, but his mentor, leaving him lost with no one to guide him.

In the real world, Izuku groans from underneath his sheets, the sound quickly turning thin and distressed as he rolls over to the side, his back facing Shouto in the darkness.]

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[numbertwohero]

[Sleep and Shouto have always had something of a rocky relationship. There's a reason he's always dozing off during the day, stealing moments to nap on bus rides and on breaks, after all. Being in the dorms has helped some, but most days a full night's sleep is a dream at best. He remembers nights of half-overheard arguments. He remembers waking up before the sun for yet another round of brutal training. He remembers his body always being on alert, ready to go from sleeping to wakefulness at a moment's notice. Two years isn't enough to forget a lifetime of training.

He'd hoped that that wouldn't be the case, at camp. He'd hoped that all the exercise and intense activity would help push his brain to finally give him some peace, to let him sleep. After all, he'd be sharing a cabin with someone, which meant that his usual insomnia-fighting techniques wouldn't exactly be feasible. He'd be interrupting someone else's sleep if he were on his phone, or doing exercises trying to zone himself out. And when he'd learned that his partner would be Izuku, he'd been even more determined to just tough it out and hope for the best. Izuku would need his rest, with how hard he pushed himself. Maybe the others didn't notice, now that he wasn't breaking bones every other week, but Shouto always noticed. He'd been paying attention for a really long time, now. He'd never say it, but even his choice to start carrying first aid kits had been in no small part because of his classmate. It wasn't something he consciously thought too much about anymore, or wouldn't let himself think about, but he always looked for Izuku first in every class, in every challenge.

That's why every night, despite his restless mind going a thousand miles a minute, despite the noise and the urge to do something, anything to distract himself, he forced himself to stillness. He wouldn't bother Izuku. He'd be a better friend than that. And he could do this, if he just put his mind to it. If he just tried...

Honestly, more nights than most, it was Izuku himself who helped Shouto finally get to sleep. Listening to his deep, even breathing, forcing his own to match it, helped more than anything else he'd ever tried. It might take him longer to get to sleep, but once he did, it was better sleep than he usually had. He might actually miss this part a lot, once they're back in the dorms.

This night is no different, at least at first. He's still awake when Izuku climbs into his futon, though he's lying there with his eyes closed trying to will himself unconscious. He lies there, and listens to the noises of the other boy settling, and when Izuku's breathing evens out, he starts to match his own to it.

He's almost asleep when that pattern changes, when Izuku groans, and in a flash he's awake again. What--?

Rolling over onto his side, Shouto looks at Izuku. Something's wrong. The line of his shoulders is nothing but tension, and the way that sound goes tight and strangled, like he's fighting to swallow it back...Shouto doesn't even think before he's moving, reaching out to brush light fingers over Izuku's shoulder, his voice low and husky from sleep.]

Midoriya...?

[mightdoriya]

[Izuku could maybe believe that Shouto struggled to sleep if he knew about it and thought on it for more than a minute, but it's impossible to know without that knowledge. He's always so still and quiet, Izuku just...assumes he's asleep pretty much the moment he lays down. That or he's just very low-key about it in general, which he tends to be with most things. Chronic insomnia would explain his tendency to want to nap or just sleep when and wherever...or express sentiments of being tired in the middle of the day.

He could actually relate to him in some ways on that. Izuku didn't always find himself sleeping right away, the worries his anxious brain liked to spin out of control leaving him with too many thoughts to properly settle. Those didn't manifest into nightmares too often, and much less into instances where he interacts with previous OFA holders, but when they did...it was gnarly. When he was still staying back home, there were several instances post beginning his term at U.A. where he'd wake up sobbing to his mother rushing into his room to check on him. Sometims she'd already be there with her hand on his head, gently brushing sweat-slick bangs off his forehead to try to calm him down. Sometimes he remembered what he'd been dreaming, other times it vanished the moment he opened his eyes.

This time, actually waking up was proving to be a challenge in and of itself. The nightmare carries on haplessly, spinning a terrifying web of a future that Izuku could have easily been forced to face. A future in which All Might had lost his life, leaving Izuku with no guidance and the expectation of taking him on by himself. All For One would have all the cards, ultimate power and an iron grip over the mood of the land as citizens fell into despair and the League rose to even greater heights of power.

And it would be all on Izuku to fix. All his fault, should things become disastrous. No help, no hope, no choice-

He hears something, distant, and when he turns his head all he can see is All For One's heavy, dark mask shattered across his face, scrunched up where his eyes used to be. Maybe smiling at him, a sign that he didn't really consider Izuku a threat at all to his cause. Reaching out his hand to grip Izuku's shoulder, holding him tightly with no intent to let him leave alive. Izuku opens his mouth but nothing comes out, a soundless scream that tears out of him in an actual cry of alarm in the real world as he shifts to one side, Shouto's voice coming to him garbled like it's coming from underwater.

Then, as quickly as he fell asleep, he's awake. His eyes snap open even though his vision is too blurred to see, staring up at the ceiling with his body trembling and big, ugly tears rolling down his cheeks. It takes a painfully long time for him to come back to the present, green eyes shifting over to look at the figure beside him that eventually swims into focus. Shouto, looking at him with visible concern. Izuku opens his mouth again to say something, to apologize maybe for waking him up, but all he manages is a shaky inhale.]

[numbertwohero]

[He doesn't know what Izuku is dreaming about, but he knows the face of a nightmare when he sees it. The way his face crumples and twists, and that scream--

His hand pulls away from Izuku's shoulder automatically, worried somewhat nonsensically that somehow he'd hurt Izuku. It was his left hand, and the memory of his usual nightmare is enough to make him look at it, to be sure that he hadn't actually burned his best friend, that there was nothing there but warm skin. But no--it's just whatever monsters are inside Izuku's head, and whatever shape they take, Shouto wants to stop them. He knows better than most that no one can save you from your dreams, but it doesn't stop him from wanting to try.

He's about to reach for Izuku again when the other boy's eyes open, staring wide at the ceiling, and even in the dim light through the high window he can see the tears streaking his face, tears that tear at something in his chest. And then those eyes are fixed on him, and that same torn thing in his chest twists and clenches, and he doesn't even think before he reacts.

He reaches out again, this time for Izuku's hand, slow and steady like you'd reach for a skittish animal. His voice is still low, barely above a whisper, cracking just slightly from the feeling that as intense as it is, is only an echo of what's showing in his eyes.]

It's okay. You're not alone. I'm here.

[He doesn't know if it'll help. His nightmares always end with him being alone, so he'd figured...maybe it was worth a shot.]

[mightdoriya]

[The last time Izuku heard those particular words were from his mom. He hasn't been home in so long though, it feels like. At least not during a time where he could spend the night and potentially go through this sort of thing there.

It's weird though that that's what he thinks about first. Maybe it's because the way Shouto says it, quiet and careful, reminds him so much of her. It has the same sort of soothing affect, immediately pulling him out of his own head and back into the real world where All Might is still alive and All For One is currently rotting in tartarus.

It's fine. It was just a nightmare. He's okay.

He's not alone.

Izuku doesn't shy away. He lets Shouto take his hand, gripping it back weakly in a way that betrays the way his hand is trembling. He sniffs, the sound too loud in the otherwise quiet of the dimly lit room, his brows upturned as he lays his head sideways against his pillow. He looks at Shouto apologetically, even with tears still rolling down his cheeks.]

I w-woke you up...I'm sorry.

I'M...SO SORRY I LOST THIS...

[numbertwohero]

[This time, at least, Izuku doesn't flinch away, and Shouto takes what comfort he can from that, even if it's overshadowed by the way the other boy's hand is shaking in his. He can't imagine what it must have been, if he's trembling this bad. And still, of course, Izuku's first thought is about him. That he must have been an inconvenience.

What was his life like, before UA, to make this his first reaction even after a nightmare bad enough to leave him crying? Or is that what the dream was about, in the first place? He's told Izuku so much of his own history, but he's never asked the same in return.

Shouto's frowning just a little, but it's not irritation, it's concern. Frowning, and squeezing Izuku's hand tightly in his.]

You didn't. I wasn't asleep yet. You don't have anything to apologize for.

[He doesn't know how to do this. But he wants to try, anyway. What would Fuyumi do? What would Izuku himself do?]

...Do you wanna talk about it?

ITS OKAY FRIEND you've had a lot going on lately <3

[mightdoriya]

[Does he? He...knows he'd feel better if he did, and the nature of the dream isn't so focused on his relationship with All Might that he can't explain it. He could tell Shouto without having to go into great detail about why it hurts. He can infer as much, even if he's not aware of the deeper meaning behind it. The gesture, the offer to listen, means more to Izuku than anything, though.

He gives Shouto the courtesy of actually looking at him while he lays there, less bothered by the fact he's seeing him cry and more that he's bothered him while he's probably been trying to fall asleep this whole time. Even if he hadn't been able to sleep yet.]

It was...All Might. I dreamed he was....w-when...when he fought All For One. That he, he didn't...