chinanigans | "I’ll prove my existence with my beast dance."

"I’ll prove my existence with my beast dance."

[Young Bakugo Katsuki, age four and a half. The boy was born with the same ears and tail that his mother had, but none of the other traits of a dog that she did. She had a snout that she was proud of, paws with sharp claws, and a bark that scared her husband whenever she saw a squirrel outside the window and broke the peaceful silence of the house. Small Bakugo thought that his own Quirk would be like his mom's-- he tried barking loud like she did only to make a pathetic squeak of a sound, he tried to make claws come out of his humanoid fingers, he tried running on all fours and ended up tripping down the stairs over his own feet... it just didn't seem like he'd have any of the cool dog abilities his mother had. He tried to lift the couch once to see if he had his father's super strength at least but that just resulted in him spraining his wrists.

It was nearing the end of his preschool year and everyone else already had their amazing Quirks. His best friend, whom he affectionately yet frustratingly called "Deku", had manifested what was probably the coolest Quirk in class. He could breathe fire out like his father-- but with a twist. The ability to bend the fire at his will. The day he found out, everyone was excited to see how cool his new ability was, especially Bakugo. Everyone else had boring things like wings, an extra eye, but Deku had something that might as well have been two Quirks in one.

Being part dog, Bakugo has a tendency to let his emotions take control in certain circumstances and that was the case here. He got a little too excited just as Deku was trying to show him how it worked, and he got too close. Deku's fire grazed his cheek, immediately singing the skin and sending Bakugo on the ground screaming from the pain, and now he has a scar that always reminds him to reign himself in. And remind Deku to not let his fire get out of control.

That night, after he had gotten home from the hospital his mother treated him to his favourite dinner that he hadn't been able to have in a few months because of the rarity. Sheep. And the moment the four year old scarfed down his dinner something happened to him. He felt pain all over his body and howled to the sky as suddenly-- fur appeared all over his skin, a snout jutted out of his face, and his hands were turned into clawed paws just like his mother's. It was scary, at first, but as his parents freaked out and fussed over why his body had changed so drastically he realized something.

It was his Quirk.

Since then he carries a pack of home-dried sheep jerky on him at all times, and he's gotten pretty damn good at switching between full-wolf form and small wolf form. In his full form, he has something like super strength. It's not exactly that, he doesn't become any stronger than he already is but it's more like while he's in that state, his adrenaline pumps through his veins faster than it normally would giving him a frame of time to go up to 130% of his body's power. Of course if he's not careful with this, like if he tried to lift a car for more than a few seconds, he could easily get carried away and rip the tendons in his arms or legs like any other physical Quirk. He's not limitless, but there's still plenty he can do in this state. On top of that he has all the abilities a dog has while he's like that-- he can hear extremely well, smell extremely well, bark loudly and as aggressively as he feels like and he has thick claws and sharp teeth. He's effectively a perfect werewolf which is why his Quirk was changed from "Dog" to... well. "Werewolf."

And today was his first day of getting to really show off his abilities.

Him and his best friend Deku had both applied to U.A together, the school their idol, All Might had went to and both were accepted. Of course they were split up during the exams they took to get in. Bakugo exclaimed angrily how he wanted to make sure he defeated more of those robots than Deku and he couldn't if they weren't in the same exam, but it was fair to make sure classmates weren't together in case of Hubris. In either case they both ended up tying, though Deku was ahead with Rescue points as Bakugo had.. zero... and they were put in the same class.

It was the first day and they were put to the test with physical fitness exams, told that the person in last would be expelled. Everyone was ready to show off what they got, and Bakugo ended up one of the top three. He can't use his Quirk too many times in one day or he'll overwork himself so he had to be picky with what tests he used it for. He used it for the ball throwing, the 100M dash, and a few others that involved strength or speed since those areas where were he excelled in and all his scores were fairly high. His ego was fairly high as well, but he wasn't satisfied only being third in the class. He wanted to be at the very top, better than all the other losers in his class even Deku. Because he wanted to be the Number One Hero, and beat out even his idol.

..speaking of, unbeknownst to anyone, All Might was one of their teachers.

They had final period with him and his appearance caused everyone to freak out. Deku was in tears seeing him, and Bakugo tried to act like he didn't care but his tail was wagging at speeds faster than it should be able to. He was in charge of teaching the subjects that had to do with being a hero-- subjects like rescue, team combat.. things like that. Of course it being day one his class was more just orientation but the students still left with excitement and a huge impression on their minds. Bakugo even snuck up to him at the end of the class and shoved his notebook and a pen at him to get an autograph, though he refused to even smile about it as if he was bothered by the Mere Idea of getting an autograph despite asking. All Might found it endearing, and signed it happily.

Now the day was coming to an end, and he and Deku were walking home together. The excitement was still fresh in both of their minds, and Bakugo felt a new sense of determination swell up inside of him. Determination to be the best. Determination to have All Might watch as he surpassed him. And after a quiet ten or so minutes he turns his face towards his friend and gives him a sharp nudge in the side with his elbow.]

You gotta stop being such a goddamn crybaby, you shit-nerd! All Might's gonna think I'm a fucking pussycat just 'cuz I hang around you sometimes!

[Despite how angry he sounds, his tail is still waggling very happy behind him.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You didn't do anything wrong!!!

[Izuku screams into the ground, not able to lift his head to Bakugou just yet.]

I t-thought...I lost you, and...I got so upset that I lost it! I snapped. And I thought, if...if I showed you that I wasn't afraid to fight you at my full strength...

[Then. Maybe they'd be friends again. Maybe, somehow, that would fix everything.]

[He... didn't do anything wrong?

So.. so then Deku really did just snap for no reason. He just snapped, and attacked him over nothing-- well, no. Not nothing. A misunderstanding. He thought Bakugo meant something else entirely when he said they'd go on different paths, didn't he? Maybe.. that's where Bakugo went wrong. He didn't explain himself well enough and unknowingly had cut his friend so deeply that all he could do was snap...

God, he feels like howling. It's a stupid, shameful instinct that he keeps down but he feels like letting out the loudest, torn sounding howl into the sky right now over this. Instead he just.. silently sits himself down on the steps so he can bury his face in the crook of his elbow. It's a lot like the scene that started this all, with him sitting on the steps and telling Deku that he'll stop fighting him. Only it feels so much worse. It feels.. so incredibly worse and he feels like he understands a little now, what Deku was feeling. About how he didn't want to hurt Bakugo because he cared about him.

He feels.. a little like all that stuff about wanting to beat Deku, about wanting to surpass his Quirk was really small and insignificant now. After all of this had went to head and he suffered the consequences of his own inferiority complex.

You got what you wanted, Bakugo. Deku hurt you, just as you wanted. Are you happy now? Your childhood friend nearly killed you and now everyone thinks you're weak and thinks he's a psychopath.

He lets out a whimper that he can't even try to hold back.]

[When Bakugou whimpers, Izuku finally lifts his head and looks up. He sits back on his heels, his hands dropping down, palms up, into his lap. He's soaked, in pain, and probably the most heartbroken he's ever felt. He's single handedly unraveled everything they both had going for them, and for what? Over something that could have been solved if they could just. Talk.]

...

You don't deserve what I put you through. You're my best friend. I don't expect you to forgive me, or trust me ever again.

I j-just had to apologize.

[Bakugo is quiet, trying to stifle the way his nose sniffles from snot trying to drip down his chin along with hot tears. This was a lot-- a few weeks now of emotions built up starting to finally spill out now that they've sat down and talked about it. He was so fucking confused and scared, and felt like he had no one to talk to about it because the person he normally would was the one who beat his face red. He didn't know what to do with himself, honestly and now it finally feels like it's starting to make sense. It's starting to feel like he can finally talk to someone about it and get all of that off his chest.

So when he feels like he can speak again without his voice breaking, he does.]

....I realized somethin'.

[He starts, sitting himself up enough to look at the palm of his hands, one of them burned from trying to block Deku's attacks before giving up and hitting back with his claws. Claws that left a deep scar across Deku's face.]

After you told me you loved me, I thought it was weird and stupid. But then I thought about how ever since I was four fucking years old I was always excited to see you. You were the only person who made me happy. The only person I wanted to see when I went to school. I thought maybe... tch. I thought my stupid dog instincts made me imprint on you, but after what you said.... love. Yeah. That's what it was the entire time.

[He lifts his face, to look up at Deku with red eyes.]

I kissed you just to make sure. I wanted to see if it'd make me excited or if I'd feel disgusted and I was completely wrong about the conclusion I came up with but when you kissed me back.. my tail started waggin' and I knew I was right.

I just wanted a few days to process it. That's why I ignored you. 'Cuz.. I was fucking scared of my stupid feelings and I didn't wanna admit that I had any to begin with. But if I had said something.. none of this would have ever happened.

...what?

[He breathes that, because he can hardly believe it to be true. Surely, it...surely it can't be?]

W...what are you saying? Kacchan-?

I'm saying-- god, I don't even know anymore!

[Having Deku question it makes it even worse, honestly. Having someone he cared about so much throwing his fist into his face over and over and over... and if he had just told Deku he felt the same, he could have saved the other teen a lot of hurt and pain. It all really does boil down to him, and his inability to communicate with anyone properly.]

You made me realize that I'd been stupid and oblivious to too fucking much this entire time! And even after you did all of that terrible shit.... I couldn't stop thinking about you. I just wanted things to be normal but I couldn't bring myself to get near you again and it fucking sucked... it hurt more than the burns you've covered me in.

...no.

[Izuku says suddenly, brows furrowed heavily. He wants to get up and go to him, but he finds that he can't really move right now, no matter how much he wishes he could.]

It's not all your fault. Maybe y-you could have told me something, or at least talked to me...but I could have talked to you, too. Instead of...instead of doing that to you!

[He shrills, gesturing to the bruise on his face, the burn marks on his skin.]

That's something I'll never, ever forgive myself for. There's a way for us to be rivals without having to hurt each other badly, I just...couldn't figure it out. And without talking about it, it just got worse, and worse, until...

[...]

...I still meant everything I said, a-after our fight. I really...really care about you, Kacchan. Thinking I'd lost you took away everything. It's no excuse for what I did, but...it's an explanation.

[Well.. Deku might not feel like he can move, but Bakugo does. He pushes himself up to his feet and starts walking down the rest of the stairs, each step slow and heay, tilting his body as if he has weights tied to his ankles until he's on the same ground as Deku. Muddy, bandaged up Deku. Deku with deep claw marks dug into the skin of his face where Bakugo desperately scratched him just to get him to back off.

He doesn't really know what to say to anything Deku tells him, but he doesn't feel like he needs to. Instead he drops to his knees in front of Deku and reaches out, with hesitant hands to take Deku's cheeks within his burned palms. He stares at him for a moment, his ears still flat against his hair and his expression looking really uncertain before he leans in... and licks at one of those nasty gashes he had ripped through Deku's skin those days ago.]

[There will be a moment of tense silence in which it's hard to say what may or may not be about to happen between them. It doesn't last for very long, because soon Bakugou will taste Izuku's salty tears as he licks him and the other boy pretty abruptly starts crying, reaching out with equally shaky hands to put them in his friend's hair. He keeps them still for a moment before moving them gently, petting him, fingers skimming just over the velvet of his dog ears.]

I-I'll never hurt you like that again. I promise, okay? I promise.

[Bakugo lowers his own hands when Deku raises his, and for a moment he sits there frigid... but then he feels Deku start to run his hands through his hair. Petting him. And usually he'd bat his hands away and tell him to stop treating him like a puppy but right now he lets him pet him. Because he kind of needed it. His ears even start to perk up, and his tail raises up out of the muddy puddle they're both sitting in and starts to swish behind him, slowly at first before picking up speed. And he can feel his eyes start to sting.

To avoid crying in front of Deku again, Bakugo leans forward and buries his face against his friend's shoulder, pressing his eyes hard against the fabric of Deku's blazer to try and stop them from spilling out.]

...yeah. Me too.

[It's still awkward and a little bit tense, but that's to be expected given what's happened between them both. It's a relief to Izuku to feel Bakugou against him like that, his hands continuing to still gently pet his hair as he catches his tail slowly wagging out of the corner of his eye. There's so much more he wants to say and feels like he needs to say, but...that would all come with time, he hopes.]

I'm sorry, Kacchan. I really am sorry.

Quit your apologizing already... I don't care anymore.

[It's muffled, as he shakes his head against Deku's shoulder. It's all in the past now, and he just wants to forget it ever happened now that they've made up. Otherwise he'll continue to dwell on it, over and over and over.]

Just... just say that dumb bullshit you used to say when we were kids. The degrading bullshit that I hated so much.

[call him a good boy deku]

[It only takes Izuku a minute to realize what Bakugou is asking of him, and one of his hands gently passes over the top of one of his ears.]

You're a good boy, Kacchan. A good boy.

[He always hated it when Deku used to say that to him, when they were both four years old. He'd pet him and call him a good boy and laugh when Bakugo told him to knock it off, but it's been a long time since he's done it after he realized Bakugo didn't like it. But.. the only reason he didn't was because it showed off his weakness. Truthfully it made him really happy to be praised like that, which disgusted and humiliated him but right now... he didn't care.

His tail starts to wag even faster and he shifts a little bit, lifting his arms and gently... slowly wrapping them around Deku's back.

And he gives out the tiniest, littlest "boof" of a bark. Just let him be a dog for a minute.]

[That gets Izuku to giggle and scritch more purposefully behind his ears as he feels Bakugou hugging him, causing him to relax even though they're both currently sitting in a mud puddle.]

You're the best boy, Kacchan.

[Bakugo closes his eyes, when Deku starts to scratch at his hair a little bit more. Right behind the ears where it feels the best... he actually finds himself starting to lean into it, a little bit, as if to tell Deku that he likes it.]

You're damn right I am.

[He replies, still with his eyes closed and his tail wagging superbly fast behind him. Nevermind the muddy puddle.. he likes being dirty anyway.]

[His rapidly wagging tail is encouraging to say the least, and despite how uncomfortable he is he doesn't want to move. This is the happiest he's been in days, so...he wants to enjoy this moment for as long as he can.

He almost says something else, just then, but the words get caught in and then die in his throat. He fears...no, he's relatively certain that he might never feel comfortable saying them again, but...for the sake of their friendship, he'll hold them close to his heart.

He hugs Bakugou closer, pressing his face to his shoulder.

"I love you, Kacchan."]

[As the two sit there, embracing in the cold, wet puddle, the clouds start closing in above them. Quietly, it starts to rain. One small drip after another until it's a light drizzle, and that finally gets Bakugo to raise his head away from Deku and look up towards the sky.]

...guess we should probably get our asses home.

[He does't move himself, though. But he does lower his face to look at Deku, questioning if he's ready to move or not.]

...yeah.

[There's still so much...he wants to say, but. That will probably have to happen later, won't it? He's already resolved to talk to Aizawa, Nezu, and Hound Dog again, possibly all together to try and figure out what he could do to mend what he'd done wrong. To try and...fix things, so people weren't acting strangely around Bakugou anymore, and so they wouldn't see him as someone to be afraid of.

But if that was never fixed, then so be it. He'd have to accept that and move on. Learn from it.

He pulls back from Bakugou, offering the other boy his hand to help him stand up.]

[Bakugo looks at that hand for a good ten seconds, as if he wasn't sure if he'd take it or not. In the past he'd smack that hand away, telling him he could look after himself but things... things have gone through a really weird, and sudden change. All these feelings up in the air but not being talked about, misunderstandings leading to heartbreak and disaster, everyone in the school perceiving the two of them far differently than when they first entered the school. Things were changing too fast, and Bakugo honestly was a little bit scared.

...but. He reaches out and takes Deku's hand.

And even when he's up to his feet, he doesn't let go as he starts to tug Deku along in the direction of their homes.]

Let's go, then.

[The way Bakugou keeps holding his hand even after he's helped him up makes Izuku's heart do a flip in his chest before getting lodged in his throat, making him unable to speak as he lets Bakugou pull him towards home. He doesn't know it now, but a few kids from school will spot them like this as they're on their way, and slowly but surely the rumor that Izuku was crazy and wanted to kill Bakugou would fade as people realized they had jumped to some pretty awful conclusions over what ended up being...just a really bad situation.]

[It's been about a month since the two of them made up in the rain. Slowly, the rumors of Deku being a crazed psychopath and Bakugo being a weak, scaredycat started to dissipate as people watched them hang out even more together than they had before. It was clear they had a talk about it, and they managed to get the therapy sessions stopped since they weren't really needed anymore and things were just.. normal again.

Well, no. Not normal.

There was still something that was lingering between the two, something neither of them really dared to address since it sparked all of that messy situation to begin with. Love. The fact that Deku had confessed, and the fact that Bakugo had realized he felt the same. It was known between both of them that they had feelings for each other but they never really acknowledged it. They just.. continued on as friends, smothering their feelings for the other one's sake. For fear of making things awkward again.

Though for Bakugo personally.. now that he realized it, it was all he could really think of for the weeks to come. And at first it was easy to push down into a small, tight box and pretend like it was never there to begin with. But slowly that box started getting bigger, and bigger and bigger until he couldn't keep the lid shut anymore and he started to try and sneak in affection whenever he could. Taking Deku's hand to drag him around when he'd let him, licking any wounds Deku received from hero training, leaning his head on Deku's shoulder and acting like he's just sitting there like it's nothing... but it wasn't nothing. He yearned for Deku's attention, and he knew that he had to stop it eventually or own up to it before Deku pointed it out himself. Otherwise he'd be too embarrassed to say anything and it'd probably start another fight.

So. Well. It's Friday night, and he's in front of Deku's apartment door. He takes in a deep breath before giving it a good knock, and he holds that breath in as he waits for someone to answer. He's not dressed like he usually would be.. rather than a T-shirt and baggy pants he's wearing a dress shirt and jeans, and his hair is brushed aside a little bit. It looks like he attempted to brush it down but his hair doesn't really.. do that, so his bangs are just parted a little bit more than usual.

He's got his hands shoved in his pockets and just looks really awkward, above all else.]

Edited 2019-01-23 06:21 (UTC)

[Even if their relationship was made complicated due to Izuku's confession, he was equally as ready to ignore his own feelings for the sake of things just...being normal. It hurt, a lot, but Izuku would work past that with time, he knew. So he doesn't think a whole lot of Bakugou's bids for affection simply because that's just...how he's always been. He's always been wanting people to pet him or play with him even if he denied it and barked at people who tried to look down on him for his dog-like tendencies.

No, that isn't what's surprising about today. What is surprising is when he answers the door with his pajamas on, blinking like a deer in headlights when he sees who it is.]

...Kacchan?

[He.. didn't expect Deku to already be in his pajamas by now, honestly. Though maybe he's the kind who changes into them the moment he's home.. Bakugo knows he was.

It makes things a lot more embarrassing though and he reaches up with one of his hands, scratching at his cheek a little as he keeps his gaze off towards a different apartment door.]

Hey.

[No, goddammmit that's not how he wanted to start this off! He's so embarrassed now that Deku's in front of him that he's forgotten entirely what he rehearsed in his mind, and he shuts his eyes closed for a moment with an annoyed sigh. He drags his hand down from his cheek to instead rub at his neck a little bit and in the same motion, leans his weight against his right foot.

He's a little fidgety, more than usual.]

...you busy?

Busy? N-no, I'm...I was just...

[~~sleeping~~]

Do you want to come in?

[Why is he all dressed up...did something happen...]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject