chinanigans | I dreamed a dream in times gone by

I dreamed a dream in times gone by

[The holidays came slowly and went by too fast. It seemed that everyone was excited to go home for Christmas time to spend it with their families, especially since the mandatory dorm system meant that they couldn't see them through the normal school year. All of the students of 1-A had enjoyed a Christmas party together as they chatted excitedly about their plans for Christmas. When Izuku had been asked, he had said that he and his mother usually kept Christmas simple...they'd make sweets together and have hotpot on Christmas Eve before opening presents in the morning. He was eager for the quiet and peace of time spent with her more than anything.

That night was the last that anyone heard from Izuku throughout the rest of wintr break. Of course his closer friends, like Iida and Ochako, had immediately been wondering why he wasn't returning calls or texts, until eventually they got a single response from him. Only one, and only to them. It stated that he'd gotten sick and probably wouldn't be responding until school started back. It was a weak cover, but they believed it. It was the best that Toshinori could think of in a pinch without coming up with a worse lie. He couldn't tell even his best friends for fear of the young boy's own safety.

The news of why he really never called or texted hit the first morning everyone returned to classes, and the entire campus was alight with mutterings about it. Izuku wasn't at school at all, of course...and the specifics of the news were left rather vague, probably to protect him further. When Kirishima had heard, he couldn't even believe it until he saw the news report on TV in the common room and realized...it was true.

Kirishima had been trying to unpack his things like everyone else on the first day back since classes wouldn't start until the next day, but he hadn't seen Bakugou come in yet. So when he finally does, Kirishima comes running up to him before any of the others can, breathless.]

Bakugou!

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[Bakugo's first instinct when the smaller teen falls against him is to bring his hands up, grabbing Deku's shoulders with them with the intention of pushing him away. His arms shake as he tightens his grip and grimaces, and it looks like, for a moment, he really is going to just push him off but ultimately... he doesn't. He lets his grip loosen again, his arms slowly falling limp at his sides as he just sits there and lets Deku lay on him, so completely unsure what to do that he's just. Numb at this point.

He tried his best with what he said, but all it seemed to do was upset him even more. How was he supposed to be a Hero if he can't even do something as simple as comfort someone hurting? Someone who called for him?

Fuck. Fuck all of this.]

...don't go back to school Monday. You can't even function like this, Deku.

[That's all he can bring himself to say at this point. He's not ready for school, and Bakugo's actually worried he might pass out or puke in the middle of class or have another screaming fit in the middle of lunch or something.]

I...I...

[He wheezes a little, shaking his head while simultaneously just...sinking even more against Bakugou until his eye is being forced shut by his shoulder.]

I'm...f-falling behind, I can't...I have to be....be able to stop...

[If he can't become a hero, he can't stop this from happening again. He can't avenge Inko. He'll have become a disgrace to her memory, and he knows above all else she wouldn't want him to just give up on everything after her passing.

Despite how cruel.]

Give yourself another week, Deku! Fucking Christ, what the hell is wrong with you?!

[The blonde unintentionally raises his voice, but he still doesn't push him off. He just stays there for Deku to lean on, knowing that at least, the fact that he's letting Deku lean on him at all is a feat in itself. At least he can give him that.]

The only shit you've missed is everyone in class failing as they worried over you. Do you really want to go to school like this? You'll just cause everyone even more trouble if they see you fainting in the middle of class or screaming or whatever!

[He knows how he feels, though. He gets it. And it's honestly more of a relief to Bakugo to see him still wanting to be a Hero despite this. To still have some kind of fighting spirit.]

I'll fucking come over and give you your own little private lessons if it'll keep you on your damn ass for a fucking week, okay?! Just-- calm down!

For five fucking seconds, calm down you shit nerd!

[Toshinori would probably scold Bakugou later for yelling at Izuku like that in such a state as he's in, but really...what he doesn't know is that this is just how things are between the two. Izuku would have been far less receptive or even understanding if Bakugou didn't scream and curse and yell the things he was actually trying to get across. He couldn't be outwardly nice much less sympathetic, but he could help in his own way. Like bringing him donuts, or getting on his ass for not taking a week to rest after his own mother had been murdered by a Villain in her own home. Izuku wouldn't be faulted for taking a month off for something like that.

So he doesn't say anything back, at least not right away. He's become almost akin to dead weight against Bakugou at this point, his body trembling even though he has no tears left to cry. He's hollow. Broken. Nothing.

He whines in the back of his throat, a thin, pitiful sound as he sits there with his hands loose against his legs with Bakugou's voice still ringing in his ears.

Then, after what seems like forever, quietly-]

I m-miss her. So much.

[Well.. at least he's not arguing back. Bakugo almost expected him to and he wasn't sure what he'd even say in response. He doesn't want to fight with someone grieving over the death of their mother-- over the death of the person who raised him almost completely solely his entire life. He's pretty sure even if this had happened at the start of the year he wouldn't have argued with him. He might not be the most agreeable person out there, and he might be violent and get angry over the smaller things but.. he still wants to be a Hero. That's never changed, and he'll do anything to get there. Even if it means learning how to work together with people he doesn't particularly like.

Even if it meant learning to comfort people he didn't like.

Bakugo just.. sighs in reply to that, because really what can he say? Nothing. He can't say anything. He can't even give Deku a "I miss her too" because it's not like saw her every day or anything like that.

So.. he ends up doing all he can do. And-- the only reason he does is simply because it's just the two of them. Completely alone, no one around to judge or make this situation worse than it already was.

His arms slowly, hesitantly reach up and around Deku's back. In a very loose, very awkward hug as his gaze is off elsewhere. Anywhere but towards the mourning boy leaning against his front.]

[The hug from Bakugou...is enough to snap Izuku out of his misery, if only briefly. He shifts his head enough so he can sort of look at him out of the corner of his eye, though he can really only see his chin and neck since he's looking elsewhere.

Bakugou...had been doing pretty well, for someone who wasn't good at the whole comforting thing. Even yelling at Izuku was needed, in a way, so it wasn't untoward or anything...

Since Bakugou isn't looking, he'll end up feeling it as Izuku shifts a little against him until he's properly in front of Bakugou and not awkwardly mashed into his side. From there, he leans against the front of his chest, sniffling as he sort of just...curls up against him.]

[Bakugo looks out of the corner of his eye as he feels Deku shifting more-so in front of him than besides. It makes the hug a little less awkward, but he still feels.. weird. He can't even remember the last time he's hugged his parents, let alone any of his classmates. It's almost like he's never hugged anyone at all, with how his hands just kind of awkwardly rest against Deku's back. But he's.. trying. He's trying not to just get up and leave, even though everything in his body tells him to. As much as the two have barely ever gotten along, and as much as they still are just barely getting along he doesn't want to leave him alone like this.

He won't.

Not until he's told to leave or at least until he's sure he won't do something stupid like this.]

...if you tell anyone about this, I'll break your jaw.

[It's okay Bakugou, he'll never tell. He's also very glad that your terminology seems to have changed...it's something he noticed, if vaguely from muscle memory. He just sniffs again as his response, his eyes closed as he relaxes in Bakugou's arms. As awkward as it is, he really needed it. Just to have someone be with him like this, especially since he's felt so guilty forcing Toshinori to be that person for the better part of the week when he hadn't cried himself unconscious.

He does end up whimpering a little more after a while, though he doesn't outwardly cry. He's just...so terribly upset that his emotions keep welling up and spilling out of him out of nowhere. He's tired, his body aches, and he's hungry but too sick to eat.

But at least he's not alone. Bakugou coming here meant more than he could express, even as he starts to doze against him.]

[Ah... it takes a few minutes before Bakugo realizes it, but the moment he does his expression shifts into something a little annoyed.

He. Fell asleep against him.

It did look like he'd barely slept this last week but for him to fall asleep against Bakugo's chest is.... ugh. Gross. He can hear his little nose snore away against him and he wants to kind of just. Punch him right now. But he won't.

Instead he carefully pulls one of his hands away from Deku and fishes in his pocket for his cellphone, and sends All Might a haphazard and severely typo'd message with his one hand.]

thje fuckcing nerd fell avsleep on me

[Yeah, he's definitely down for the count. He had barely slept in days, and the last couple nights he didn't really at all.

After a moment, Toshinori responds.]

Join the club, my boy.

Put him to bed. He has not rested for days. You may join me for tea afterwards if you would like.

fine bt ibbetter et paid for babysittigng

[Bakugo heaves a heavy and annoyed sigh as he sets his phone down for now, and he grabs Deku's shoulders and gently pushes him back enough to where he can instead slip an arm around his back, and his other down under his knees. They're not far from the futon but he's not going to just drag him across the floor, so he picks Deku up and pushes himself up to his feet at the same time with a small huff through his nose before walking just a few feet to the futon. There he kicks the sheets aside so he can set Deku down and tosses them over him. He must be absolutely dead tired, he didn't even make a sound or move when he moved him around... poor fucking guy.

Afterwards, he grabs his phone and very quietly leaves Deku's room, sliding the door behind him as carefully as he can before he pads into the kitchen where All Might was sitting.]

He's a fucking handful.

[Toshinori is quiet as Bakugou enters, sitting at the table with his hands cupping a mug of tea. There's a second one already waiting for him.]

So I heard.

[Bakugo wordlessly moves to take a seat across from All Might, but he doesn't take the tea. He just rests his elbow on the table to prop his chin up with his hand, looking off away from All Might with his brow furrowed in what could be construed as anger but it's just.. worry. He's just worried.]

...you're not really gonna let that dumbass go back to school on Monday, are you?

[Hm. He raises a brow at that.]

Is that what he told you all? He must have decided that on his own. Either way...he is allowed to return to classes when he feels he is ready.

Yeah. He texted it to Uraraka yesterday.

[Bakugo's eyes roll over to All Might after he says that, his gaze narrowing.]

You can't let him. I don't give a shit if he thinks he's ready-- he can barely even walk on his own, let alone do literally anything that he'd need to do during class. And he was sayin' shit about how he needs to "stop" something.. probably wants to snap that scumbag's neck.

[That's not very Hero like, last time he checked. At least, he was always told that he needed to focus on saving people, not on doing things for his own gain.]

[Hm...he was afraid of that.

He looks into his teacup for a long moment, as if mulling over what he should say next.]

Bakugou...did he tell you what the Villain left behind in his home?

Hah?

[That catches the blonde's attention, and he lifts his face away from his hand, letting it drop onto the table in front of him instead.]

He told me he saw her.. yeah.

[He shakes his head, looking still into his cup at his own reflection.]

They also left a note. A note Midoriya-shounen was meant to find specifically.

[Toshi's expression twists with disgust.]

The Villain...touted his crime as being their gift to him.

....what... the fuck..?

[Bakugo's voice sounds a little breathless, his eyes widening a little at the news. That's.. unbelievably fucked up. That's so incredibly fucked up he can't even seem to comprehend it.]

Who the fuck would-- what-- what the fuck?!

[Honestly, he's kind of.. horrified. Who wouldn't be upon learning that? They killed his poor mother in cold blood right before Christmas and as if that wasn't bad enough, they left a note for a sixteen year old boy telling him that it was a gift? Who.... who in their goddamn mind would do something like that?]

I know...I know.

[Toshinori finally looks up at Bakugou then, his gaze very hard.]

You must understand...Midoriya has been far more heavily traumatized by this incident than I think he quite realizes. It is unclear how he will act in the immediate future. I am...confident he will recover, unwilling to give up his dreams to become a hero, but...it is going to take time. Time, and patience.

To that end...I thank you for coming here. He needed to talk to someone that was not me.

[Bakugo hears All Might, but he can't say a damn thing in return. His mind was already starting to focus too heavily on the note, and he finds himself turning his head towards the room where the other boy was currently sleeping.

Holy hell, Deku.. what the fuck did you get yourself into here?]

...I'll bring his homework. He won't be behind, but I ain't letting him leave that goddamn room until he stops looking like a fucking zombie.

[He gives that answer finally, after a long stretch of silence. And after he says that he pushes back his chair and stands up so he can leave already, not even having touched his tea at all.]

Edited (you ever realize you used goddamn twice in one sentence like ten hours later) 2019-02-13 21:06 (UTC)

[The Hero cocks his head a bit at Bakugou's insistence, watching him get up to go without trying to urge him to stay. He figured that he'd seen and heard enough.]

I will let Aizawa know, then. I doubt Midoriya will be entirely pleased, but it will be in his best interest to rest for the time being.

He can suck it up. It's embarrassing having him look like that.

[As the "Symbol of Peace", he can't go around looking like he could pass out at any moment. That's something even Bakugo understands.

After he says that, though, Bakugo continues to the front door where he slips on his shoes and heads out without another word to say. He's got.. a lot to chew on right now. And he needs to spend some time alone.]

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I dreamed a dream in times gone by

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