I dreamed a dream in times gone by

[gothard]

[The holidays came slowly and went by too fast. It seemed that everyone was excited to go home for Christmas time to spend it with their families, especially since the mandatory dorm system meant that they couldn't see them through the normal school year. All of the students of 1-A had enjoyed a Christmas party together as they chatted excitedly about their plans for Christmas. When Izuku had been asked, he had said that he and his mother usually kept Christmas simple...they'd make sweets together and have hotpot on Christmas Eve before opening presents in the morning. He was eager for the quiet and peace of time spent with her more than anything.

That night was the last that anyone heard from Izuku throughout the rest of wintr break. Of course his closer friends, like Iida and Ochako, had immediately been wondering why he wasn't returning calls or texts, until eventually they got a single response from him. Only one, and only to them. It stated that he'd gotten sick and probably wouldn't be responding until school started back. It was a weak cover, but they believed it. It was the best that Toshinori could think of in a pinch without coming up with a worse lie. He couldn't tell even his best friends for fear of the young boy's own safety.

The news of why he really never called or texted hit the first morning everyone returned to classes, and the entire campus was alight with mutterings about it. Izuku wasn't at school at all, of course...and the specifics of the news were left rather vague, probably to protect him further. When Kirishima had heard, he couldn't even believe it until he saw the news report on TV in the common room and realized...it was true.

Kirishima had been trying to unpack his things like everyone else on the first day back since classes wouldn't start until the next day, but he hadn't seen Bakugou come in yet. So when he finally does, Kirishima comes running up to him before any of the others can, breathless.]

Bakugou!

Comments

[bakucchan]

[Christmas break was. Okay. It's one of the holidays Bakugo just doesn't particularly care for, honestly. He doesn't care for the commercialism of it, doesn't care for his aunts, uncles, and cousins coming to their house just to make it a mess and scream at each other over useless bullshit, doesn't really care for the presents his parents give him because he's not a materialistic kind of person. Just doesn't care. It's annoying more than anything else and he wished he could have a quiet Christmas for once.. nevermind that he always ends up seeing Deku because they live close and he was sure now that they were.. sort of.. getting along again might stop by like he used to with sweets him and his mom made, forced to give them to his family from Inko herself.

Ugh. Annoying.

...though that didn't happen, and for that he was thankful. He didn't see Deku once, even while he was out in the neighborhood with his other friends pelting them with snowballs until their noses bled. He figured he was just busy with his mom-- maybe his old man actually came home this year? When was the last time Bakugo even saw his dad? First grade?

Either way, the holiday was annoying and he was in a particularly grumpy mood as he enters the dorm with a suitcase in tow and a big scarf covering half his face. He noticed that there were a few of his classmates huddled around the TV for some reason, but honestly he didn't care. He just wanted to get to his room and enjoy the silence for a bit...

Of course. He can't. When fucking Kirishima is running up to him.]

The fuck do you want that can't wait for me to fucking unpack my shit yet, Kirishima?

[gothard]

[Kirishima is breathing a little heavy as he comes to a stop, his eyes darting as he takes in the annoyed expression on what bit of Bakugou's face he can actually see.]

W-well, it's kinda a long shot, I guess...but have you heard from Midoriya at all?

[Iida and Ochako hadn't since a week ago, and even after attempts at reaching him they still couldn't.]

[bakucchan]

Hah? Deku?

[That gets Bakugo to look even more annoyed, for some reason. But at the same time why was he asking? If he's late to school, surely one of his stupid friends would know why.]

Why the hell would I have heard from that shitty nerd?! You think I've ever given him my cellphone number?!

[gothard]

[Kirishima's brows furrow a bit, then, and a couple of the others turn to look when they hear Bakugou growling about Izuku. A good portion of the hall has gotten...quite silent, suddenly.]

Did...haven't you seen the news?

[bakucchan]

[...??

The fact that everyone goes silent at the mention of Deku and look at Bakugo is enough for him to suddenly feel nervous. Not that he'd show it, of course, but that coupled with Kirishima's inquiry... doesn't settle well with him.

At all.]


...what news?

[gothard]

[If the silence was obvious before, it's absolutely scathing, now. Kirishima grits his teeth, his complexion going ashy as he realizes he's going to have to be the one to tell him.

He doesn't even know how he'll react. Will he even react that much?]

It...it's his mom, man.

[He hesitates, a clear waver in his usually even and confident tone.]

A Villain got her.

[bakucchan]

["It's his mom. A Villain got her."

Honestly, Kirishima not knowing how Bakugo would react to that kind of news is.. completely fair. He was Deku's childhood friend, but everyone knew they weren't actually best friends or even close, really. He could just not care and shrug it off, telling Kirishima that that kind of thing happens and Deku will either get over it or let it consume him. That's probably what would have happened... if it happened at the start of the year.

That said, Kirishima doesn't even have to elaborate for Bakugo to know what he means. He turns his face towards the other students-- the television. Where he can barely see the headline between Denki and Mineta: "Midoriya Inko, murdered in her home the night of the 20th."

Murdered.

A Villain got her.


Slowly Bakugo turns his face back towards Kirishima and he ends up the only one seeing it. How his face absolutely pales, his eyes shake a little bit at the news. Just two blocks away, someone was murdered and it was someone he knew since he was a little brat. It's not like they were best friends but he still did have days where he went to Deku's house when they were really young. He remembered Inko being nothing but sweet-- even when he ran into her at the market after he started bullying her son. She would still greet him with a smile and call him Katsuki-kun, ask if he's doing okay in school. And even though he acted like he hated being doted on, of course that wasn't really true and even if it was... she didn't deserve this.

Neither of them did.]

...what the fuck?

[He says that in a voice very low, very quiet. It's all he can really even say.]

[gothard]

[Yeah, he sees it, and it's...harder to take than he was prepared for. Especially since he's never seen Bakugou look like that, not since the day everyone realized that All Might was no longer the Symbol of Peace. This here, though...this was deeply personal in a way none of them could properly comprehend. Maybe they all felt so shocked simply because it was Izuku and nobody else. He'd touched all of them that much.]

N...nobody knew until this morning. They must've kept it off the news.

[He doesn't have to explain why. The Villain had yet to be captured more than likely, and it wa possible it was targeted due to Izuku being so prominent as an up and coming hero. There was no way for them to know either way, not when they had no other information and hadn't heard from Izuku at all.]

That's why I asked you. Nobody's heard from him.

[bakucchan]

I never even saw the goddamn police in our neighborhood.

[The way Bakugo says that almost sounds... angry. How did he not even notice something had happened? He only lived a couple of blocks away. He should have done something-- but what? What could he have done? What would he have done if it was his family that had been targeted? What if his is next?

Fuck. Fuck. There's too much fucking shit to think about with this and it's obvious that it's freaking him out a little bit. How couldn't it? Bakugo's a tough cookie but he's still... a kid. Things like this are still scary even to him.]

[mightdoriya]

[Izuku doesn't actually end up going to school Monday. He doesn't go the rest of the following week, actually, meaning that the first two weeks of the semester he ends up completely missing. It's through no desire of his own, really, but he also...doesn't end up making the effort to go yet, and Toshinori doesn't pressure him. He leaves that bedroom very little that week, mostly either sitting up and making himself eat or sleeping. It was the first time he'd slacked on his usual training, too, at least until he finally starts picking it up toward the week's end.

The most bizarre thing about the whole experience despite his grief was...Bakugou.

Bakugou, the boy who was self proclaimed not to be his friend, came every day to bring by his homework and pointedly check to make sure he wasn't starving to death in there. Izuku wish he had the energy and mindset to show how grateful he was despite being confused over it...he just hoped that Bakugou wasn't going out of his way, or doing it out of some sort of sense of obligation to All Might. He just couldn't piece it together, even knowing that the main reason was because he lost his mother in such a sudden and brutal way.

Now it was the third Monday of the semester, and Izuku had returned to class. People whispered when they saw him, but it was hard to tell if he noticed or was just ignoring and pretending he didn't. Either way, he has enough to contend to when he walks into homeroom and is immediately bombarded by his classmates until Iida yells for everyone to back off and give him space. Surprisingly though, he seemed to be taking it in stride, more or less...apologizing to everyone for not being around or keeping them updated and letting them know he was okay.

But, really, he wasn't. He wouldn't find that out in first period, at least.]

[bakucchan]

[Honestly, for once, Bakugo was doing this out of his own will. It.. scared him, admittedly, to see Deku like that. To see the way his face looked almost green from a lack of sleep and a lack of eating, the way he just randomly burst into screaming hysterics and passed out right afterwords against him. It's not right. Deku's supposed to be the happy go lucky one, the one who always got up no matter what beat him down. And so Bakugo kind of.. set it in his mind that he was going to "save" Deku. Because he was the one Deku asked for before anyone else. Not out of a sense of friendship, or because he owed it to All Might or anything like that.

It was the first time, ever, that Bakugo had wanted to save someone's life. His first time into really being a true Hero.

The week was an odd one though, that's absolutely for sure. He had to simultaneously dodge his classmate's questions about where he was suddenly going every day after school and also deal with a broken Deku for at least three hours a day.. it got better as the week pushed on but it was definitely not something for the weak of heart. Bakugo did his best, though. Giving him his homework and helping him with anything he didn't understand (helping by screaming at him, as he does) and he always brought some kind of food with him back to make sure he wasn't starving himself. That was honestly Bakugo's biggest worry. The suicide rates in Japan were.. high, and when he first walked in there it was like he was looking at a skeleton. He wasn't sure if Deku would have really reacted in that way to his mother's death, by starving himself away but he. He just. Didn't even want to give him a chance. If he was going to die, it was going to be Bakugo who killed him, after all.

He was almost against letting Deku come back to school that following Monday but he did seem a lot better than a week before. He threw on his normal happy face and those green bags under his eyes were mostly gone, so Bakugo agreed with All Might about the decision. He could probably use someone other than dreary All Might and pissy Bakugo for a change, anyway. He was certain he'd be able to take care of himself better in class now, anyway. Especially since he was starting to get back into the swing of physical training by the end of the week.

He didn't pay any attention to him anymore though once the day started, not wanting to let anyone know he'd been taking care of him and likewise getting sick of seeing him every single day anyway. He has his friends, he'll be fine. And first period goes along.. really well. For everyone. There's a sense of absolute relief in the class now that Deku was back and everyone felt like they could relax again.]

[mightdoriya]

[Nobody else bothers Bakugou, at least, save for Kirishima. He asks him quietly if things are okay, mostly with him more than anything, but nothing much more than that. It seems like everybody wanted to try to get back to normal as much as they could, both for Izuku's sake as well as the sake of the climate of the class not being constantly depressed and down. So homeroom progresses as they move on into general studies, then some basic hero training before lunch. Somehow, nothing goes wrong. Izuku fights the same as he normally would, though it is clear he's still not at his top form, his body weakened and having to slow down and stop quicker than the rest of them.

The last few classes of the day are general ed. Next to last, Mic's English class. Pretty basic, nothing completely out of the ordinary. This class was always a bit loud thanks to their teacher being so boistrous on a good day, which gave the students liscence to be loud right back at him.

Izuku, though, is quiet. Very quiet and still as he writes his notes, more listening than paying attention. He glances up to the board as he watches Mic write down some English phrases for them to put in their notes, all of them stock and innocuous enough. His eyes skim them over, and he nearly doesn't even read the one that takes his breath away.

"Let me help you with that task, Mother."]

[bakucchan]

[Honestly the longer the day goes on, the more volitile and like himself Bakugo becomes. It's been a really taxing week on him and he'd been one of the quieter ones in class during said week... but just having the atmosphere change in class brightens his spirits back up along with everyone else. He'd really gone ham during Hero Studies, in particular.

It was starting to feel normal again and by the time English rolled around, it was like nothing had even happened. Everyone was laughing, yelling out loud, teasing each other for getting phrases wrong and having a really good time.

Bakugo hadn't even noticed that the boy behind him had gone dead silent. He was too busy focused on laughing at Kirishima messing up when Present Mic suddenly throws a question at him to answer back in English.]

[mightdoriya]

[Kirishima stumbles and falters the moment he's called out, stammering as he tries to remember the proper words to repeat the phrase in English. The others in the class aren't paying close enough attention to realize the mistake, and Mic himself seems to have overlooked it entirely in his enthusiasm.

Halfway through Kirishima's answer, Bakugou will suddenly feel a hand pressed against his back as fingers curl into the material of his blazer and hold on, tightly. The grip tugs a little once before going still, though he'll easily be able to feel that whoever has grabbed him is shaking like a leaf.]

[bakucchan]

[Bakugo was about to tease Kirishima even more, but the feeling of something against his back gets him to stop his laughter. It's a little tug, that seems to stop but still cling on with shaking fingers and he turns his head over his shoulder to see the reason--

..the.. reason... being Deku, looking absolutely terrified of something.]

...the hell do you want, you damn nerd?

[Bakugo says that quietly, as Present Mic yells over him to ask Denki next. Everyone else seems too preoccupied to notice this little exchange going on.]

[mightdoriya]

[Izuku doesn't say anything. He can't. He just stares up at Bakugou desperately, as if hoping he'd be able to read his mind and figure out what the problem is. A problem that isn't entirely clear until Kaminari eventually stumbles across the correct combination of words to utter the phrase that's upset him so badly.]

[bakucchan]

[Bakugo stares at him with a narrowed expression, trying to read his mind but ultimately failing. His Quirk is explosions. There's no mind reading able to happen there.

Though when he hears Denki say it-- "Mother"-- it clicks with him immediately and his eyes widen a little bit in realization. He turns his face back to the front of the class towards Present Mic before turning back to Deku, with an expression that says "oh fuck what the fuck do I do" before standing up very suddenly right in the middle of class.]

Oi, sensei! I feel like I'm gonna fuckin' puke so I'm making shitty Deku take me to the infirmary!

[He reaches down to Deku and grabs his arm lightly, tugging him to his feet before Present Mic can even say anything.

Which, he just gives a very confused "Okay..." as Bakugo shoves Deku in front of him and pushes him out of the classroom, away from everyone's equally confused eyes.

Once they're out he grabs his arm again and drags him into the nearest empty bathroom, just so the two can be alone and because he has a feeling Deku might need it.]

[bakucchan]

[It was the weekend, and Bakugo was lounging around the common room by himself, since his other classmates were off doing their own activities or they knew not to bug him for the television unless they want to deal with him screaming at them to fuck off. He was mindlessly flipping through channels, bored out of his mind when something.. something catches his eye. A news story about Deku's mother, and her murderer. He had attacked again, according to the newscaster and it had Bakugo sit up a little bit straighter. That Villain had been completely silent, over the month that had passed since then with no leads or traces leading towards him as far as the public knew so for him to come out of the shadows and attack again... not to mention, the fact that apparently it was another attack in Bakugo's neck of the woods.

The blonde stays sitting silently as he watches the report, listens to the newscaster warn the watchers at home about the gruesome and heartbreaking details of the murder that had taken place just earlier this afternoon. About two hours ago. Bakugo's expression starts to change and distort as a video taken from someone's phone starts playing. It's pointed at a house-- his house. It shows a stretcher being pushed out of the door, covered from head to toe with a sheet absolutely soaked in blood and following it was another one with his father only half covered, still soaked. He feels everything just stop, right then. His breathing, his blinking, everything as the newscaster announces it.

"Bakugo Mitsuki was attacked and murdered in her home today, at 2:30 PM. Neighbors heard the commotion from inside and called the police, but by the time they arrived the perpetrator had already fled the scene. She was found dead on arrival with her husband, Bakugo Masaru, suffering critical injuries. He's in the hospital now for treatment, but he was able to give a short statement. He told the police that his wife had died a Hero-- that she died protecting him to the best of her abilities even though her Quirk wasn't something she could fight with. She used kitchen tools to fend him off but was no match for his Quirk, and in the end she wound up dying in Bakugo-san's arms."

Anything else that's said goes on deaf ears as Bakugo suddenly shoves his hand into his pants pocket, lifting his phone up with a shaking arm to see that he had missed 19 phonecalls. 19 phonecalls from his father. His phone was silenced. He didn't want to be bothered today so he....


...he dials his father's number as he flicks to another channel with his other hand, seeing the report on a different news station. The phone rings until it's forwarded to voicemail and he dials his mother's cell this time, as her name is written in bold, white letters across the screen. Again, the phone rings until voicemail and frantically he tries one more time-- to their home phone. He hadn't realized it but he was gripping the remote in his hand so tightly that the tendons in his fingers were starting to burn, but he couldn't even focus on that because this phone goes to voicemail as well. Only this time...


"You've reached the Bakugo household! I'm Mistuki." "I'm Masaru.." "And... KATSUKI! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE TO RECORD THE VOICEMAIL!" "I TOLD YOU I WASN'T GONNA DO IT YOU UGLY OLD HAG!" "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!" "YOU FUCKING HEARD ME!" "Uh... l-leave a voicemail after the--" "KATSUKI!!!"


There's a distinct sound of glass shattering coming from downstairs in the common room, the smell of smoke wafting up the stairs. And along with it-- a scream. Not one of anger, not one of fear. But one of absolute, utter despair.





The smoke rises to the ceilings, and the sprinklers suddenly go off.]

[mightdoriya]

[Even though it had only been a month since he'd promised Bakugou he'd prevent anyone from suffering the same fate she did, he'd been doing miles better since. He had had time to properly grieve, and though he still had nights where he cried himself to sleep...he was getting better. He knew his mother would want him to be out there continuing to chase his dream...so for her sake, he couldn't stop now.

Izuku had been on the second floor when the alarms suddenly go off. He looks up sharply before rushing out into the hall. The others were having similar reactions, springing into action pretty much immediately because their first instinct is to assume they're under attack. They all charge for the elevators or the stairs, the latter of which Izuku takes since he knows he can beat the elevator to the bottom.

He heard a scream. Had someone been injured, or worse, captured?

He's shocked to immediately get soaked the moment he enters the common room, keeping his eyes peeled for the source of the problem. He'd already activated his Quirk preemptively to rocket his way down the stairs, so there are little green sparks coursing around his body as he spots Bakugou near the couches. It's hard to tell from here what happened, so he hurries over.]

Kacchan-! What's going on!?

[bakucchan]

[There's a lot of things that Deku will notice when he gets close enough to the couches. The first being-- the television was the source of the smoke that suddenly set off the sprinklers. The screen is cracked... smashed, a jagged circle broken out of the LED, cracks lining the rest of the screen as the image on it is miscoloured and broken up. There's drops of blood that lead from the television to Bakugo himself, his right hand dripping it with glass from the shattered screen dug into the flesh of his knuckles.

His breathing is heavy, ragged. Loud and fast paced as if he's having a hard time figuring out how to breathe in the first place and his eyes are blown out wide, pupils shaking. His cell phone is on the floor, after having been dropped with it showing that it was currently recording a voicemail to his home and... he's getting completely soaked. The water mixes with Bakugo's blood, thinning it out down his finger tips and he, himself, doesn't seem to even register that Deku is there.]

[mightdoriya]

Kacchan!!

[Izuku cries, not minding the water currently soaking everyone and everything around them as he rushes to his aide, completely stunned by what he sees. He knows that even at the peak of his anger, Bakugou wouldn't just go around destroying school property just because he was mad about something. If he did, he'd have been expelled a long time ago. So to see him having put a fist through the TV is alarming as much as it is confusing.

The others are starting to come up now as Izuku kneels in front of Bakugou, trying to look at his face when he realizes just how pale he is, and how he's...breathing in the same heavy, paniced way that Izuku knows all too well by now.

It scares him. Badly.]

Kacchan! Kacchan!!

[He grabs him by one shoulder, trying to get his attention.]

[bakucchan]

[Bakugo still doesn't register the shrill shrieking of his name, not at first anyway. The corners of his vision were starting to close in as he sees Deku kneel in front of him and shake him, watches his mouth move but doesn't actually hear anything coming out.

All he can think about is the image of his parents being taken out of his house in bloody stretchers. Murdered. Died in his father's arms.

He knew this would happen. He thought about it too damn much and a nightmare that had been slowly creeping up on him became reality. If he hadn't silenced his phone he could have rushed there and saved them. He could have saved them. He could have saved them.

He should have saved them.]

De..... ku...

[He croaks out the other boy's name as the gears in his mind stutter back alive, just long enough for him to realize that he's been screaming his name for the last.. who knows how long. He was on the floor, suddenly, and a sharp pain burst through his bloodied hand as if the pain from punching the screen had a delayed effect on his body. He winces suddenly, doubling over as he grabs hold of his wrist and lets out a cry-- a swear at the pain and at everything coming at him too fucking fast.]

Shit-- shit! SHIT!

[It might be hard to tell, or maybe not with Deku being so close but.. there are hot tears trailing down the bridge of Bakugo's nose, spilling off the tip of it along with the water conveniently hiding them away.]

[mightdoriya]

[By now, everyone has come to a complete stop as Bakugou just...has a complete and utter meltdown right in the middle of the common area. Even Kirishima, who might have run to his aide along with Izuku, had stopped just behind the couch to let Izuku handle him for a second due to just...how frantic and unlike himself he seemed. The best he could do was bark for somebody to go get Aizawa, now, despite knowing that the teacher was probably on his way already.

Meanwhile, Izuku had jerked back a little when Bakugou started screaming at the top of his lungs, bellowing his pain in such a way that only Izuku could truly understand, though he doesn't want to believe such an assumption to be true. Not until he hears it from Bakugou, or hears the news for himself.

Now, he realizes...this is what Bakugou had been dealing with for him. Having to figure out how to comfort someone in obvious pain, except with this Izuku didn't even know the source.]

K...Kacchan, hey-

[He starts, putting his other hand on his other shoulder as he leans down further with him.]

Look at me...Kacchan, please.

[bakucchan]

[Bakugo's first instinct is to pull away, when Deku places his hands on his shoulders. He's suddenly all too aware of the stares of the other students in the room, how this vulnerable state was being shown to all of them so goddamn easily. He wants to run away and hide, like an animal that's been hurt but his body refused to do anything that his brain tried to urge it to do. He stays put, not even bothering to shake Deku off as he continues to choke and gasp out air, swearing over and over when his throat can find the time to actually form the words.

At Deku's insistence, him begging Bakugo to look at him while he tries his hardest to understand what's happened the blonde does-- he lifts his face, tears and snot dripping down his chin with his teeth bared in a pained looking grimace. His eyebrows are furrowed, pinched together not in a way that looks angry but rather a way that just looks. Sad. Just so fucking sad, and scared.

It's a look that Deku might recognize from so long ago, at the start of the year. The expression Bakugo made when he looked towards the crowd, suffocating to death and praying that someone would help him.

Only, this time...]

...h-he.. hahhh... hh-ghhk.... h-he got them.... hahhh.. hah.... h-he fucking... g-got my.. m-my par-- p-pahhrents...

[He breathes that out, hoarse and slowly, choking on every word as he looks Deku right in the eyes with an expression that's asking him why.

Why did this have to happen again?]

[mightdoriya]

[No. No....no no no no NO It happened again. The absolute unthinkable happened. Even though he promised, he promised Bakugou he wouldn't let it, and... It. Happened. Again. He feels like he's going to be sick. Izuku doesn't let go of Bakugou, but his grip on him does go a bit slack as his arms start to shake, the other students around them starting to murmur with worry as they check their phones...and the news report is all right there, plain as day for them to see. The same Villain who killed Izuku's mother had killed Bakugou's parents, too. Within months of each other. They were...dead. At about that time the sprinklers finally shut off as Aizawa comes in, alarmed to find his students all standing in water and Bakugou knelt in front of a shattered TV with a broken hand. And as if Izuku can read Aizawa's mind, he looks back to Bakugou and whines to him, thinly-] N....not here.