chinanigans | I dreamed a dream in times gone by

I dreamed a dream in times gone by

[The holidays came slowly and went by too fast. It seemed that everyone was excited to go home for Christmas time to spend it with their families, especially since the mandatory dorm system meant that they couldn't see them through the normal school year. All of the students of 1-A had enjoyed a Christmas party together as they chatted excitedly about their plans for Christmas. When Izuku had been asked, he had said that he and his mother usually kept Christmas simple...they'd make sweets together and have hotpot on Christmas Eve before opening presents in the morning. He was eager for the quiet and peace of time spent with her more than anything.

That night was the last that anyone heard from Izuku throughout the rest of wintr break. Of course his closer friends, like Iida and Ochako, had immediately been wondering why he wasn't returning calls or texts, until eventually they got a single response from him. Only one, and only to them. It stated that he'd gotten sick and probably wouldn't be responding until school started back. It was a weak cover, but they believed it. It was the best that Toshinori could think of in a pinch without coming up with a worse lie. He couldn't tell even his best friends for fear of the young boy's own safety.

The news of why he really never called or texted hit the first morning everyone returned to classes, and the entire campus was alight with mutterings about it. Izuku wasn't at school at all, of course...and the specifics of the news were left rather vague, probably to protect him further. When Kirishima had heard, he couldn't even believe it until he saw the news report on TV in the common room and realized...it was true.

Kirishima had been trying to unpack his things like everyone else on the first day back since classes wouldn't start until the next day, but he hadn't seen Bakugou come in yet. So when he finally does, Kirishima comes running up to him before any of the others can, breathless.]

Bakugou!

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[Now that they're alone and cut off from the other students, Bakugo lets out a sigh and turns around to look at Deku, opening his mouth to say something but stopping dead in his tracks when he sees the boy starting to hyperventilate again. He can tell that his gaze is off somewhere else, probably not even registering what's going on right now and honestly it's... something familiar to him, even though he doesn't really understand it himself. But it reminds him of when he first lost to Deku, how his thoughts starting spiraling rapidly out of control while he was hyperventilating and shaking, unable to think clearly or rationally at all. If it weren't for All Might clasping a hand on his shoulder and telling him to come back, he probably would have had some kind of break down.

So.. that's what he tries for Deku.

He reaches out with both of his hands, placing them firmly on the boy's shoulder and gives him a little shake-- his voice stern and even as he looks him right in the face.]

Deku.

[He starts with just that. Just simply saying his name to try and snap him out of it.]

[It's Bakugou's voice more than the utterance of his name that pulls him back to reality. It's like his body, his spirit, is being sucked out of the memory of himself crying over his mother's corpse right back into the bathroom with Bakugou looking at him, and at first he has absolutely no idea where he is or how he even got here. Only that something shot him right back to that moment and sent him into such a panic that it hurt to breathe.

He takes a staggering step forward, lips quivering as he shakes his head and sort of...falls forward into Bakugou's arms whether he's ready for him or not. If he happens to catch him, he'll lean heavily against him with his arms wrapped around his chest, keeping his face pressed tight to his front. Otherwise, he'll keep going until he collapses to his knees to the bathroom floor.]

[He does catch him, yeah. Mostly because he's so used to by now that he doesn't even think to step back or push him away. He sees that look in Deku's eyes as he tears up and shakes his head, and so he stands there still and lets the smaller teen wrap his arms around his chest.

This had to have been the seventh.. maybe eighth time Bakugo's had to deal with something similar like this and by now he's just going through the motions. Wrapping his arms back around him loosely, only this time he rests one of them on top of those green curls and lets a sigh escape through his nose.

He knew Deku wasn't ready for school yet but honestly at this point.. he might not ever be if simply the word "mother" sends him into a panic like this. It's just something Deku will have to learn to move forward past, it's not something anyone can try and shelter him from and this right here is a good indicator of why.]

[Izuku, for his credit, is trying his damn hardest not to cry, even when his tears start soaking into the material of Bakugou's blazer. He sucks in heaving, gasping breaths to try to calm himself down, shaking, ashamed for letting himself get so upset so easily over something he thought he was getting over.]

I...I'm s-sorry...

[He hiccups, tightening his grip around Bakugou as he chokes back a sob.]

I'm...okay, Kacchan, I...I am...

Quit fucking apologizing all the time. It's pissing me off.

[Bakugo growls that quietly at him, and he makes a little "tsk" noise in the corner of his mouth as he looks up and looks around for a moment as if to make sure no one was hiding in the bathroom for some reason. It's silent outside as well which means no one was coming into the bathroom either... okay.

With that settled, the blonde sighs and bends forward a little, giving Deku a bit of a tighter hug so he can muffle his tears into his blazer easier.]

Cry if you want, you big crybaby. I won't laugh.

[Izuku stiffens, his body going rigid when Bakugou holds him tighter against his front. It's a shameful display and Izuku knows it, and that's saying a lot coming from somebody who cries all the time like Izuku does.

He shuts his eyes, a thin whine escaping him as he claws pathetically at his back.]

I'm tired of crying!

[And yet, he's already starting to anyway.]

Shoulda' thought of that before crying over fucking nothing ever since you were a shitty little brat.

[There's a bit of a "huff" at the start of that sentence there, as if he's annoyed-- which-- he is. But ever since he decided he was going to "save" Deku, he's been trying to ignore that part the best he can. It's a new challenge for him that's for sure...]

At least you actually have a good fucking reason to cry for once.

...

[Izuku can't protest further, because he's already sobbing. His face is pressed hard against Bakugou's front, the whole of him trembling as he struggles and fails miserably to hold himself together.

He cries, because he misses his mom. He feels like a failure as a hero and a son for not being there to protect her. He's angry, wishing he could find that Villain who did this and put them behind bars...or worse.

He just doesn't know what to do anymore.]

[Bakugo just keeps still, letting Deku cry out as much as he needs to. He doens't know what to do either, honestly, besides stand there and let him get it all out of his system but he's learning that sometimes that's just. All you really need. And if him being there for Deku lessens the burden on him, and All Might who was worrying himself sick over the young boy then so be it.

It's about two or so minutes, though, as the sound of the bathroom doors opening can be heard. Denki walks in and freezes in the doorway, seeing Bakugo hugging a sobbing Deku to his chest and he looks at the two of them with shock on his expression-- until Bakugo notices him and snaps his head in his direction.

He doesn't say anything, just gives the other blonde a glare so fierce that Denki just. Backs out slowly and as quietly as he can.]

[Izuku, as expected, doesn't even notice that anyone came by. He just keeps crying until he's once again unable to cry any more, his tears reduced to heaving breaths that sound painful to take. He isn't hyperventilating anymore, at least, but he isn't entirely well either.

He wants to apologize, again, but Bakugou seemed to get irritated when he did...so he holds his tongue, pressing his face further into the other boy's collar.

The silence is mostly filled with Izuku's sniffling for another minute before he can really do or say much else.]

...I c-can't keep doing this.

[God.. he feels for him, honestly. He might not feel for a lot of things but you'd have to be heartless to look at someone sobbing into your chest over their dead mother and not feel sympathetic towards them.

He gets Deku's feelings as well. The fact that he's sick of crying-- that he feels like he needs to get over it already so he can move on and focus on other things. He'd probably be the same if it happened to him, honestly. But at the same time..]

It's only been three weeks, you shit nerd. Did you forget how to count all of a sudden?

[Bakugo pulls one of his hands back from Deku's back, curling his fingers into a fist to bop him roughly on the crown of his head.]

You're gonna keep crying whether you like it or not, because you're a little bitch who cries at the drop of a hat and fuck-- even someone like that Half-and-Half bastard would cry if this shit happened to him.

I wouldn't, because I'm fucking better at keeping my calm than all of you shitsticks combined but even then I'd be depressed as Hell. Who the fuck wouldn't?

[Izuku winces, ducking forward when Bakugou hits him, but he doesn't complain. He just lets Bakugou fuss, because it's all stuff he needs to hear. A bitter pill to swallow, perhaps, but expecting himself to just be over the death of his mother so soon is absolutely ridiculous. Especially when he didn't even have his own father here to be a parent. He had All Might, but...

He sniffs, drawing back just enough so he can look up at Bakugou through wet lashes.]

I k-know. B-but...I just wish I could stop thinking about it. I wish I could...forget.

[The blonde looks down at him, his own eyes narrowed and brow furrowed in what looks to be anger-- but by the level sound of his voice, Deku can tell he's not mad at all.]

You don't wanna forget her.

[He doesn't mince words, nor does he coat it with swears or excessive insults. Because it's something he's saying genuinely, for once, and he'll only tell it to Deku once so he better listen up.]

Keep her in that big, stupid head of yours Deku. And if you gotta cry, then do it. Cry your little heart out-- but you gotta keep fighting.

[Bakugo pulls back then all the way from their hug, so he can look Deku head on, his red eyes staring into those big, wet green ones.]

Fight to make sure this shit doesn't have to happen to anyone else.

[Forgetting Inko wasn't an option, absolutely not. But if he could wipe his memory and not have to see her laying there in her own blood every time he blinked, he would. He would do that in a heartbeat.

Hearing all of that come from Bakugou, though...it's unusual. He just wasn't the type of person to offer support, or comfort, or even a pep talk really. But here he was, helping stupid Deku every step of the way...hugging him when he needed to cry, telling him to keep his chin up instead of yelling at him to go die somewhere.

It seems to click, then, for Izuku how strange everything has been.]

...It's not going to happen to anyone else. I swear to it.

[That seemed to have lit some kind of fire in Deku and honestly, that's all Bakugo was trying to do. Just give him something to focus on. Not revenge, not the image of his mother dying being replayed in his head over and over, but the resolve to try and stop this from happening to others. That's what Heroes would do, after all.

That's something Bakugo's had to learn for himself, many times. And there's the smallest hint of a smile on Bakugo's face before he remembers that he's supposed to hate Deku, and a scowl replaces it almost immediately as he smacks the smaller boy upside the head.]

'ya damn right it ain't! Now get your ass back to class before I kick it there!

[Izuku winces again when Bakugou smacks him a second time, but this one feels less...overly chastizing. He'd even be smiling if his heart wasn't still aching so much.

He straightens, lifting his hands to wipe at his eyes so it's a little less obvious how much he's been crying.]

T...thank you, Kacchan.

[At Deku's thanks, Bakugo just lets out a scoff of a noise and starts heading for the door now that he looks like he's calmed down. He opens it, and holds it open for him, quiet for a few seconds before uttering these words low and quiet so just Deku can hear them.]

...don't fucking thank me. I'm doing what any other Hero would do.

[He's embarrassed to admit being nice and comforting others is now something he's trying to be better at but there it kind of goes.]

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I dreamed a dream in times gone by

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