chinanigans | BKDK: Exes

BKDK: Exes

[Maybe Izuku had been naive to think that he and Katsuki would have lasted together beyond graduation. He'd been overwhelmed enough by the mere notion that they had gotten together at all, much less that it had lasted for two years. They'd weathered a lot together at this point; a lot of trouble and a lot of fights that they managed to patch over and work through, together. Say what you will about Katsuki, but Izuku cherished the progress they'd made together as friends, if not actual partners. They could actually resolve issues without it becoming a world-ending catastrophy.

But then...graduation came, and Izuku needed to talk to Katsuki about something very important. He just hadn't anticipated the storm it would create that ultimately would cause them to break it off entirely.

They had planned to be hero partners. Or at the very least, they were going to work side-by-side in Japan as they got their feet wet in the hero world. But in the last few months of their school life, Izuku had been talking to All Might intermittently about possibly interning for a while in America, like he had. It would be an insane opportunity, but one that would seperate he and Katsuki for a while...to that end, it wasn't something Izuku just sprung on him at the last second. He brought it up when he and All Might were first discussing it, though assured Katsuki it wasn't set in stone yet, he was just thinking about it...maybe that misunderstanding led Katsuki to believe he wasn't being serious about the internship after all?

Because...when he came to him a month before graduation and brought it up again, letting him know he thought he might really want to do it...that's when things turned ugly.

They fought. It was bad. Katsuki didn't want to hear it and kept accusing Izuku of being wishy-washy and of not being completely up front with him about it to begin with when Izuku had. He didn't hide anything. Izuku didn't want to leave, but it was an opportunity he may never get again. They both had agreed their careers came first, but something about this just hadn't sat right. Izuku could hardly remember exactly how it went, but Katsuki demanded Izuku leave, and he did in tears. After that, they didn't talk. Izuku assumed...they weren't talking, even though nothing to that affect had been said officially.

He knew when he texted Katsuki over and over and got no response. They were done.]

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[It'd been.. rough. Katsuki thought he had grown past his little fits-- when something doesn't go his way, he'd grown to let go easier and not let it consume him like it would when he was younger. But even he surprised himself, sometimes. And this argument with Izuku had been something that shocked both of them to their cores.

He didn't mean it. He didn't mean it when he lashed out, telling Izuku to get out the way he had. He wanted to pull him back inside and hold him close to his chest, apologize over and over for making him cry but something inside of him kept him standing still as his boyfriend left his house, not to return for weeks to come.

He didn't know how to swallow his pride and apologize to Izuku. He didn't know if he'd even be forgiven, and he was a little scared to find out. But as days turned to weeks, and Izuku's texts started getting more and more sparse, Katsuki knew he was running out of time. It's when he gets a text, and a week goes by without anything else said, that he realizes it's almost too late. And in the impulsive manner he usually faces any of his other problems with, he sends a text without thinking any of this through.]

Come over.

[The text comes to Izuku on a weekend. Katsuki wouldn't know because he's been ignoring his attempts to reach out, but he'd been spending weekends with his mom lately because he'd just be in his room depressed if he didn't. So he isn't actually at the dorms to come over, but even if he were? He doesn't...even know what to say to that, yet. Katsuki had been leaving him on read for weeks, and now finally he's said something.

He didn't respond to anything he sent him, no. He's just demanding he come over after he kicked him out.

Izuku is, understandably, pissed off because of it. So he turns his phone over on the dinner table after turning it off entirely so his mom won't ask again who's texting, should Katsuki attempt a second time. He will turn it back on later this evening though, but he's not sure yet if he even wants to reply.]

[Katsuki gives it a few minutes. He knows Izuku wasn't going to be happy to be getting that text, but he didn't really expect him to take much longer than an hour to reply.

So it's after that hour mark, about an hour and a half later, that he sends another text.]

Izuku.

[Izuku's reply is shockingly prompt, this time. Immediate, even though he wasn't entirely expecting another message beyond the first.]

Did you even bother reading what I sent you?

Yeah. We need to talk about it, so come over already.

I'm at mom's.

[He assumes Katsuki is still back at the dorms.]

Then I'll be there instead.

[Will he? Will he just come barging over? He's not sure his mom would be too happy to see him either, since she's the one Izuku cried to about their breakup...but she'd surely let him in anyway, because it's Katsuki.

He should just demand he stay away. But...]

Do whatever you want.

[Katsuki doesn't reply, instead slipping his phone into the pocket of his baggy jeans on his way out his dorm. It was a bit of a walk away, but Katsuki could make it easily. He hasn't exercised yet, anyway.

It's about an hour and a half before there's a knocking on Izuku's front door. His mother answers as expected, and as equally expected she reluctantly lets Katsuki in after he politely asks. He makes his way over to Izuku's room, and knocks on the door roughly.]

Lemme in, ya' damn nerd.

[The silence that follows the knock is stony and stifling, but it doesn't last forever. Eventually Izuku rises to answer it, though it took him some time to work up the nerve to do so. When he opens the door, he isn't looking at Katsuki directly and instead just wordlessly moves to the side so he can step in.]

[Silently, Katsuki walks in to Izuku's bedroom and he takes a seat on the edge of his bed just as quiet. Seconds tick by before he says something, and it's something he regrets almost as soon as it leaves his mouth.]

You know I didn't mean it.

[How could he have known when he was ignored for so long?]

[Izuku is quiet too, and he doesn't join Katsuki on his bed. Instead he remains standing, and it feels as awkward as it looks.]

Oh, yeah. The silent treatment was pretty convincing.

[He doesn't mean for it to come out as sarcastic and bitter as it does, but...it's been a rough last couple weeks for him, and it's not like Katsuki's tried to make it any easier until suddenly today.]

Come the fuck on, you were blowing my phone up every fucking--

[Katsuki starts, but he physically stops himself by shutting his eyes and taking a deep breath. He's gotten better at keeping his temper in, but there's still times like this where he gets too emotional and too heated. He has to start again, keeping his voice low through grit teeth.]

...I didn't know what to say. Fuck, I still don't.

Then why are you here?

[It's asked tersely, because Izuku wants to talk about this if Katsuki is going to bother coming over at all. He didn't send him all those messages and practically beg to talk about it to be ignored any longer.]

Because I want to say something, and I ain't gonna do it over a stupid phone text.

[It just.. really comes down to what should be said. He's never been good at apologies or admitting his faults, taking the blame where he needs to. It's especially difficult when he feels hurt and betrayed by his boyfriend's decision to go to America in the first place.

So.. he knows this will probably end in a fight if he's not careful with his words. It's why he's silent even after giving his reasoning for being here, because he's holding back his tongue and trying not to just say the first things that come to mind.]

[For a long, tense moment, Izuku is quiet.

Then...]

...I'm listening.

....you should've asked me first. Before deciding to go off to America on your own.

[It's clear by how muted his voice sounds that he's trying not to be angry, or that he's trying to hide it at the least. But he can't help his opinion jumping out like that no matter how calm it sounds, which is why he can't meet his gaze with Izuku's just yet.]

[Definitely the wrong way to start, but...okay. It's been said, there's no taking it back now.]

I did. I told you about it multiple times.

Telling and asking are two different fucking things.

So why didn't you tell me then that you weren't okay with it when there was still time for me to decide on something else to do!?

I didn't think you'd seriously go through with it!

[Katsuki snaps that back at Izuku, his ears starting to flush deep red in his frustration that's only going to spread to his cheeks the more worked up he gets.]

Or that you'd give me a heads-up before deciding or invited me to go with you or something! Not just decide to leave me behind in another fucking country after we had plans to make an agency together after graduation!

Do you really think I'd go without inviting you? I hadn't actually decided for sure or not yet!

[Just that...it was highly likely. That he really wanted to, but obviously it wasn't coming up in the cards for Katsuki at all.]

["Do you really think I'd go without inviting you?"

Just hearing that sends a pain right through Katsuki's chest. Like a dagger stabbing him in the heart, and for a second he feels like he can't breathe. He's been getting better, a lot better at misunderstanding people's intentions, especially his... ex boyfriend's.

He thought that Izuku was.. just going to go. Just like that. And the idea of possibly losing him in another country, the idea of him being overseas where Katsuki couldn't protect him or be by his side, set off his anxiety and he has a knee-jerk reaction that took a month to get over.

And yet, like usual, it was just his brain playing mind tricks and rushing to the worst conclusion, not even given Izuku a chance to explain himself.

Goddamnit.]

....'m sorry.

[He says it quietly through gritted teeth, his gaze stuck permanently to the floor. He can't look at Izuku, he just can't right now.]

[Izuku wasn't expecting an apology. Not really. Katsuki, he thought, had come here with unresolved anger at the situation festering in his heart, and it had boiled over and he needed to speak his mind. He'd prepared himself for that side of his ex, the last side of him he saw.

Not...this.

His shoulders relax a little, but it's clear he's still guarded. Upset.]

...If I planned to just leave you behind, I wouldn't have bothered texting you again. Or again.

[Again and again as he kept getting iced...]

[Katsuki.. can't say anything in reply to that. He can't even begin to think of what to say, honestly. He feels so stupid, and ashamed, but at the same time he still felt.. hurt. If Izuku had explained that to begin with, maybe things could've gone differently. Both of them have taken great strides over the last three years, but they were still flawed, and they were still going to have moments like this while they learned.

They're only 18, after all.

Instead of replying with words, though, Katsuki brings his right hand up to cover his face, hiding the tears biting the corner of his eyes in his own frustration at himself.]

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