chinanigans | "I’ll prove my existence with my beast dance."

"I’ll prove my existence with my beast dance."

[Young Bakugo Katsuki, age four and a half. The boy was born with the same ears and tail that his mother had, but none of the other traits of a dog that she did. She had a snout that she was proud of, paws with sharp claws, and a bark that scared her husband whenever she saw a squirrel outside the window and broke the peaceful silence of the house. Small Bakugo thought that his own Quirk would be like his mom's-- he tried barking loud like she did only to make a pathetic squeak of a sound, he tried to make claws come out of his humanoid fingers, he tried running on all fours and ended up tripping down the stairs over his own feet... it just didn't seem like he'd have any of the cool dog abilities his mother had. He tried to lift the couch once to see if he had his father's super strength at least but that just resulted in him spraining his wrists.

It was nearing the end of his preschool year and everyone else already had their amazing Quirks. His best friend, whom he affectionately yet frustratingly called "Deku", had manifested what was probably the coolest Quirk in class. He could breathe fire out like his father-- but with a twist. The ability to bend the fire at his will. The day he found out, everyone was excited to see how cool his new ability was, especially Bakugo. Everyone else had boring things like wings, an extra eye, but Deku had something that might as well have been two Quirks in one.

Being part dog, Bakugo has a tendency to let his emotions take control in certain circumstances and that was the case here. He got a little too excited just as Deku was trying to show him how it worked, and he got too close. Deku's fire grazed his cheek, immediately singing the skin and sending Bakugo on the ground screaming from the pain, and now he has a scar that always reminds him to reign himself in. And remind Deku to not let his fire get out of control.

That night, after he had gotten home from the hospital his mother treated him to his favourite dinner that he hadn't been able to have in a few months because of the rarity. Sheep. And the moment the four year old scarfed down his dinner something happened to him. He felt pain all over his body and howled to the sky as suddenly-- fur appeared all over his skin, a snout jutted out of his face, and his hands were turned into clawed paws just like his mother's. It was scary, at first, but as his parents freaked out and fussed over why his body had changed so drastically he realized something.

It was his Quirk.

Since then he carries a pack of home-dried sheep jerky on him at all times, and he's gotten pretty damn good at switching between full-wolf form and small wolf form. In his full form, he has something like super strength. It's not exactly that, he doesn't become any stronger than he already is but it's more like while he's in that state, his adrenaline pumps through his veins faster than it normally would giving him a frame of time to go up to 130% of his body's power. Of course if he's not careful with this, like if he tried to lift a car for more than a few seconds, he could easily get carried away and rip the tendons in his arms or legs like any other physical Quirk. He's not limitless, but there's still plenty he can do in this state. On top of that he has all the abilities a dog has while he's like that-- he can hear extremely well, smell extremely well, bark loudly and as aggressively as he feels like and he has thick claws and sharp teeth. He's effectively a perfect werewolf which is why his Quirk was changed from "Dog" to... well. "Werewolf."

And today was his first day of getting to really show off his abilities.

Him and his best friend Deku had both applied to U.A together, the school their idol, All Might had went to and both were accepted. Of course they were split up during the exams they took to get in. Bakugo exclaimed angrily how he wanted to make sure he defeated more of those robots than Deku and he couldn't if they weren't in the same exam, but it was fair to make sure classmates weren't together in case of Hubris. In either case they both ended up tying, though Deku was ahead with Rescue points as Bakugo had.. zero... and they were put in the same class.

It was the first day and they were put to the test with physical fitness exams, told that the person in last would be expelled. Everyone was ready to show off what they got, and Bakugo ended up one of the top three. He can't use his Quirk too many times in one day or he'll overwork himself so he had to be picky with what tests he used it for. He used it for the ball throwing, the 100M dash, and a few others that involved strength or speed since those areas where were he excelled in and all his scores were fairly high. His ego was fairly high as well, but he wasn't satisfied only being third in the class. He wanted to be at the very top, better than all the other losers in his class even Deku. Because he wanted to be the Number One Hero, and beat out even his idol.

..speaking of, unbeknownst to anyone, All Might was one of their teachers.

They had final period with him and his appearance caused everyone to freak out. Deku was in tears seeing him, and Bakugo tried to act like he didn't care but his tail was wagging at speeds faster than it should be able to. He was in charge of teaching the subjects that had to do with being a hero-- subjects like rescue, team combat.. things like that. Of course it being day one his class was more just orientation but the students still left with excitement and a huge impression on their minds. Bakugo even snuck up to him at the end of the class and shoved his notebook and a pen at him to get an autograph, though he refused to even smile about it as if he was bothered by the Mere Idea of getting an autograph despite asking. All Might found it endearing, and signed it happily.

Now the day was coming to an end, and he and Deku were walking home together. The excitement was still fresh in both of their minds, and Bakugo felt a new sense of determination swell up inside of him. Determination to be the best. Determination to have All Might watch as he surpassed him. And after a quiet ten or so minutes he turns his face towards his friend and gives him a sharp nudge in the side with his elbow.]

You gotta stop being such a goddamn crybaby, you shit-nerd! All Might's gonna think I'm a fucking pussycat just 'cuz I hang around you sometimes!

[Despite how angry he sounds, his tail is still waggling very happy behind him.]

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Gh-ah!

[Izuku chokes, his breath literally punched from his lungs when Bakugou lands on top of him, his head turned as he barks in his face. He doesn't have an answer...he can't answer him.

So to avoid having to, he turns his face so he'll miss, then spits fire at Bakugou's head, just narrowly avoiding blasting one of his ears off in an attempt to get him to back away.]

[Bakugo doesn't move. Even as the fire blasts right by, the eat causing the inside skin of his fluffy ear to redden a little bit and sting, he doesn't move. It's even more annoying honestly that he'd purposefully miss like that, and Bakugo lets go of him with one of his hands, reaching up to grab Deku's face with it instead, digging his claws lightly into the skin of his forehead and cheeks.]

I'm not that weak little puppy you keep seeing me as..! Your Quirk has always been stronger than mine-- but I'm stronger than you! And I'll prove it here, even if I end up burnt to a fucking crisp!

[As he says that, he leans more weight against Deku's face, his claws digging just a little bit more against his skin.]

So come at me with all your power, Deku!

Y-you're not...weak! I don't think...

[That's not it...he's not weak, he's just...

Reckless. What if that causes him to...

Izuku's breath hitches as he reaches up to grab onto Bakugou's arm to keep him from pushing any harder down onto him.

If he blasts him...he won't move. He won't move. What is he supposed to do?!

In a moment of wild panic, realizing that he's been made immobile, Izuku suddenly lifts his torso and catches both feet beneath Bakugou's ribs, aiming to kick him off.]

[He wants Deku to blast him with full force. He wants to head against that fire and come out of it the victor. The fire he's been jealous of since he was four years old... though he does know if Deku used it right here, with their faces so close it would probably kill him. So he's not surprised that Deku tries another tactic-- but it's not something he can just easily dodge. Deku's feet make contact with his ribs, and he lets out another involuntary whimper as he is kicked off a few feet away. He rolls, landing on his knees and coughs for a few seconds before he looks back up at Deku with a grin.

Finally, he thinks. The fight starts here.

Of course, he doesn't give Deku a chance for a break before he starts running towards him again. His eyes are a deep pink now, almost reaching his limit already. He's got about a minute and a half left, so he can't afford to wait around this time.]

[Izuku snaps around, nearly giving himself whiplash with the speed at which he moves as he throws both arms up, crossing them in front of his face to block Bakugou grabbing at him with his claws again. He'll wind up with gashes on his arms, but even then it's a small price to pay to save from burning him too badly.

He can't use his fire, not this close. He can't...]

[Of course, Bakugo does end up digging his claws into Deku's arms as he moved them just in time to save his face. But unlike his friend here, who is terrified of hurting Bakugo severely-- he doesn't care.

So while the two are face to face, one guarding as the other is holding onto his arms Bakugo throws his head back..

....and bites down right into Deku's forearm. He sinks his teeth into the skin, immediately drawing blood and the crowd gasps. How is Deku going to combat this...?!]

[The unexpected bite causes Izuku to cry out with pain, heaving out a plume of smoke that clouds his and Bakugou's vision for a moment like a smokescreen. He wasn't...acutely aware he could do that? But he's done it, and he's bought himself a few seconds to think through the pain. Bakugou's time is nearly up; just a minute more, and he'd be back to his normal self. At that point, a win was nearly guaranteed for Izuku.

But that can't happen. He knows it, and Bakugou knows it. Their fight will end in the next thirty seconds, whether Izuku has a plan thought out for it or not.

He can't wrench himself away from Bakugou, so he's really stuck here. His only option is to either use his Quirk to knock him off, or...

He grits his teeth, planting his feet into the dirt of the arena as he suddenly starts to push back against Bakugou, ignoring the pain shooting up his arm. He tries to push him back towards the line, to try and force him out of bounds...and he isn't using his Quirk to do it. It's a futile attempt, given how Bakugou is so much stronger than him.]

[The smoke shocks Bakugo, honestly. He's seen smoke come out of his mouth before, in small little trails but never like this. Was he hiding that ability this whole time? That's so... freakin' cool!!

It pisses him off more, then, when Deku starts pushing against Bakugo. Immediately, it's obvious what he's trying to do. He's trying to push him back over the edge without using his Quirk, and that makes him so goddamn angry. What kind of win would this be if he didn't even win using his Quirk? Is Deku even thinking?

Of course, he's a lot stronger in this form than Deku, able to pull out 130% of his power and so far he hasn't used that much yet because he hasn't been pushed to but now... he's literally being pushed. If he doesn't stop Deku he'll go over the line, and he refuses to let that happen.

So he lets go of Deku's arm with his mouth, and tightens the grip he has on Deku with his hands instead. He digs his heel into the ground to stop both of them, and uses all of his might to throw Deku as far as he can in whatever direction he can manage. Ideally, over the line but it'd take a lot of luck for that to happen.]

[The proverbial switch inside of Izuku flips as Bakugou suddenly grabs him and makes to throw him away as he realizes that if he's not going to be able to win this without severely hurting Bakugou...then there's no real chance of him winning it at all. It'd either end in the hospital or a draw, and one of them at least would be upset by both of those scenarios.

So as he's flung through the air, black smoke still escaping his mouth as if his flame had gone completely out, Izuku doesn't try to right himself. His body hits the ground several feet away and he tumbles until he slides to a stop on his side, heaving as he gasps for air through all of the smoke.

Mic suddenly screams out over the field as everyone gets to their feet, because Izuku's head and shoulders have fallen over the line and out of bounds.

Bakugou wins.]

[Bakugo watches as Deku rolls out of bounds, and as Mic yells the results, the crowd screaming their heads off to celebrate Bakugo's form shifts. Just out of time, it looks like. He looks at his now human hand for a moment, his brow furrowed deeply as he does. He won, like he wanted, but it feels.. terrible. It doesn't feel satisfying even a little bit, because he feels like Deku went easy on him. He's been his rival all of Bakugo's life. He's been the goal. The person he's wanted to beat wholeheartedly, his Quirk against Deku's amazing abilities that he's always yearned for and now that they finally were able to go all out... it feels like he worked twice as hard and Deku barely worked at all.

Was he toying with him? Playing around to show him that he was so powerful that he didn't need to go at him 100%? What an idiot. A stupid, horrible idiot. He looked down on him and it cost him the win, and Bakugo walks towards him as the crowd continues to cheer with nothing but anger and bitter resentment in his gaze.]

You could have won.

[His ears are pinned to the top of his head, his tail drooping between his legs limply. He looks angry, and bitter but on top of that is... something sad. Hurt.]

[Izuku pushes himself up to his hands and knees as the crowd roars, still coughing up smoke even as Bakugou walks over to him. When he looks up at him, the expression on his own face is tense...pitiful. It worsens with the way Bakugou looks down at him, his tone very clearly disappointed.

Before much else can happen, even as the nursebots start to roll onto the field to tend to Izuku's bleeding arms, he suddenly bolts. He shoulders past Bakugou and runs off the field entirely, ignoring the way the crowd murmurs and how Mic yells after him as he disappears down the corridor that leads to the field proper.

He runs, and he keeps running until he reaches an empty hallway that he can hide in, his back to the wall as he slides down to sit on the floor.

The tears in his eyes are angry, frustrated, and humiliated. What was he thinking!? Why did he just...basically throw the match like that when they both were looking so forward to it? How could he hurt his best friend that way?

Why...]

[Honestly.... he didn't expect that kind of reaction from Deku. He didn't expect him to suddenly push past him and run the other direction, he expected an answer. Something, and as Present Mic yells after Deku, Bakugo can feel that disappointment and resentment bubbling up inside of him and.. he ends up running after him as well. Even though he has some nasty burns on his arms that he needs tending to, he can feel that this fight is not quite over yet.

He's about a minute behind Deku, though. Getting a little lost on the way in but he finds him sitting on the floor and he immediately yells out at him, in a sharp bark of a tone.]

What the fuck is wrong with you?! Do you like toying around with me like that, huh? Was it funny to you? You tried to beat me by pushing me over the line without even using your Quirk-- are you an idiot, or were you trying to humiliate me in front of everyone?!

In front of All Might!

[At first, Izuku hides from it. He buries his face in his arms as Bakugou's words strike him like sharp stones that he feels like he completely deserves. Bakugou has every right to be upset for the way that fight went...but the more he says, the more upset Izuku himself starts to get. Because he wasn't looking down on him, or even underestimating him...he was afraid of hurting him.

His head snaps up when he mentions All Might, tears already coursing down his cheeks as he shouts back with smoke continuously leaving his mouth.]

Shut up! N-none of that is true, Kacchan! You kept putting me in situations where i-if I wanted to win, I'd have to really hurt you! What was I supposed to do, burn you to death!? Is that what you'd have me do so the win felt more justified or something??

This isn't some kind of game anymore! They can put us back together, but you can't come back from everything!

[The old burn scar on his cheek should remind him of that.]

I wouldn't have gotten burned! Do you think I'm so weak that I can't figure out a way out of that kind of situation?

[Bakugo yells that back at him, more desperate sounding than before.]

If you're too scared to use your Quirk then why the fuck are you at U.A? Why the fuck are you trying to be a Hero?! Are you gonna hold back against a villain, too?!

Edited 2019-01-19 07:27 (UTC)

[Izuku gets to his feet, then, realizing that there's no running from this. No matter how much he wants to, no matter how badly his knees are shaking and begging for him to run away. His arm drips blood onto the floor from the deep bite wound, but he ignores it.]

I don't have to beat you to a pulp to win, either! A win is a win! If I can out-think my opponent, I still win!!

[He takes a step closer, his voice having risen a few octaves the more emotional he gets.]

But I didn't! You won! You won fair and square because you out-thought me! Even if I'd done more, you'd still have beaten me! Okay!?

[But it's not okay. That's not the full story, and Izuku knows it.]

You gave up!

[Bakugo doesn't step back, when Deku steps forward. He doesn't even flinch but his body language-- the fact that his ears and tail are still low as they can go tells Deku that he's still.. really hurt. He does understand what Deku's saying, to a point. You can't help it if your opponent outsmarts you but he knows that's not what it was. He knows it.]

You've got every little goddamn detail written about my Quirk in your stupid little Hero notebook, and you're tryin' to say that I outsmarted you? Are you fucking with me right now? You had so many chances to hit back at me and you gave up!

I might as well have not fought you at all!

[That...that right there. It gets him. It gets him really badly, because it's the truth. At some point during their fight, whether he realized it at the time or not...his losing had been a foregone conclusion. He'd really just been mentally trying to think of ways to get out of it, to let Bakugou take the win so as to avoid hurting him any more than he already had.

He screws his eyes shut, choking on a sob as the old, old memory of him screaming as a child rings in his ears after he'd accidentally scorched him with his flames.]

I didn't want to hurt you!

[He cries, repeating himself because he can't...argue against what Bakugou said. He's right, he's totally right, and anything else Izuku tries to argue would just be lying to himself.

He sucks in a breath that sounds downright painful, nearly bent in half at the torso as he screams-]

I c-can't hurt you anymore! I don't w-want to! I love you!!

[....what?

What?

What the fuck did Deku just say? He.. what?

Bakugo stands there, his eyes widening in complete and utter shock at Deku's sudden declaration. It makes sense if Deku didn't want to hurt him because of their friendship, but if that were the case Bakugo would wholeheartedly argue with him about that too. He thought Deku would be excited because they're friends. That's the relationship Bakugo thought they had, anyway. Always challenging each other, pushing each other to their limits. Saying stuff like "I'll be a better Hero than you" to each other.. it was always like that, ever since they were four. It's why it hurt so much that Deku seemed to just not have the same light anymore, during that fight. He was wondering in the back of his mind where his best friend went, and why he was replaced with this asshole who refused to fight him wholeheartedly.

Now he has the answer. Deku wasn't looking down on him, nor was he just playing around and trying to humiliate him in front of everyone. He.. didn't want to hurt him, because he loved him.

He... loved him...?]

Y-you...?

[He doesn't even know what to say. He doesn't even know what to think. Deku loves him? Why? Why would he love someone who's so nasty, and mean, and accused him of horrid things just ten seconds ago?

Why..]

[Izuku realizes he's fucked up the moment the word leaves his mouth, prompting him to quickly cover it with both hands, still staring at the floor and overtly refusing to actually look at Bakugou. His vision is completely blurred as tears drip directly from his eyes into little puddles on the floor. He tightens his grip around his mouth, because he both feels like he's going to be sick and start sobbing all at the same time, because he...hadn't actually meant to say that. He just blurted it out in a fit of frustration at not being understood, but now...now, he's really done it.

It's all because of this...stupid, stupid crush he's had on Bakugou for what feels like as long as he's known him, silently pining for the other boy until the feelings grew to a fever pitch once they got older and got into UA. But now, he's destroyed it. He's ruined not only any chance of being with him that way, but also torn apart their friendship by making things weird. Now Bakugou was going to hate him, or find him disgusting for liking another boy, especially him.

He turns abruptly to try to run again, because he can't stay here. He can't face Bakugou now.]

[Honestly it'd probably be better if they had some time away from each other, right now. Had time to think it over, to really process what happened.. especially since Bakugo has to get ready for his next match. But that's probably why he can't just let it end there.. how is he supposed to focus on anything else now that Deku's spilled this? Now that he's learned his best friend had feelings for him?

When Deku turns to try to leave, he grabs onto one of his arms tightly-- but he can't look at him while he addresses him.]

No, fuck you. You don't get to just leave after dumping that shit onto me.

[He sounds angry, but he's really just confused. Extremely confused.]

"I love you"? What the fuck do you even mean?

Edited 2019-01-20 00:53 (UTC)

N-nothing.

[He squeaks through his fingers, barely able to manage to choke out a reply over how...overwhelmed and upset he's made himself. He wishes he hadn't done this, especially not now, but it's too late.]

P-please just...f...forget- forget I said anything, I n...n-never said anything...

How am I supposed to just forget about it?!

[Bakugo raises his voice, tugging Deku closer towards him. His mind is racing with so many different things right now-- when did this start? When did things change? Has it always been like this? Did he just not even realize or recognize it himself? Was he wrong about how he interpreted their relationship this entire time? He thought they had a mutual rivalry but was it actually romantic??? God, it's so fucking confusing and he doesn't know if he should be mad with Deku for saying it or happy or disgusted or what.]

You just said-- you loved me... that's not something you can just blurt out randomly like that, Deku! What the fuck?!

[Why did he say it? It's going to make everything.. so weird from now on. All he can think about is the things they've done together in the past, how Deku must have felt about them. Like when they raced each other to his house and he ended up having to clean Deku's injuries... he acted weird about it didn't he? Because Bakugo licked his face and even if it's not weird to him, he can imagine it being... really awkward if someone he liked did it to him.

God. God dammit.]

All this time I thought.. fuck! I'm a fucking idiot!

[Izuku hiccups, forcing himself to move his hands away from his mouth now that Bakugou is tugging more roughly on his arm, making it hard for him to actually...continue doing that.

But now he's being accused, forced to explain himself and rightfully he needs to...but how? How is he supposed to tell Bakugou he's liked him for...a while, now? He sounds so angry that Izuku honestly wishes he'd never said anything at all. All of a sudden, the excitement of today has turned into an outright nightmare.]

I'm s-sorry! Kacchan...

[He's actually crying now in spite of his best efforts, tears mingling with the lightly bleeding cuts on his face caused by his claws from earlier.]

P...please don't hate me, I...

[He doesn't have to love him back. He doesn't even have to like him, but...

...if he loses him as a friend over this, he doesn't know what he'd do.]

[Deku saying that... begging Bakugo not to hate him over this hits the half-dog like a fucking truck.

He thinks he'd hate him over it? It's true that it.. honestly is stressing him out thinking about the fact that Deku has feelings for him. It stresses him out a ton for a lot of different reasons. The fact that he'd been oblivious to it entirely for one. The fact that they're both guys and that homosexuality isn't really a concept people accept that easily, for another. But that's probably why Deku never told him until now in the first place.. and he only did because Bakugo trapped him in a corner.

If this argument never happened, he might not have ever learned at all that Deku felt that way towards him. That stresses him out, too.]

...I won't.

[Bakugo answers, but it took him a good minute of agonizing silence for him to actually say it.]

I can't hate you, Deku. Whether I like it or not.. even when you piss me off I can't get myself to actually be mad at you.

Puppies don't wag their tails when they're upset.

[He lets go of Deku's arm after saying that, though his tail still isn't wagging. He's recognized a long time ago that Deku somehow became someone important to him... extremely important. It was because of his dog-side imprinting on him in a way, but also because he genuinely liked being around him for as much as he acted like it was a chore just being Deku's friend.

But is his own feelings towards Deku "love"? That's where he's at right now. He's never been interested in romance, and doesn't even think about sexual situations or jack off really. He's been so focused on being a Hero that he just doesn't seem to have the time or capacity to bother with that kind of stuff so this is just.. a lot.

It's a lot.]

[Yeah...that's what he said before, isn't it? He almost starts crying harder when Bakugou parrots that at him, because it just reminds him of a time when they weren't stuck in this weird situation he's now thrust them both into. God, it feels terrible...and he wishes he knew what to do, but he doesn't.

He pulls his arm back to himself when Bakugou lets him go, holding a hand over the still bleeding bite mark he left behind. Bakugou said he wouldn't hate him, and he knows he has no reason to lie. But...

He doesn't know. It doesn't feel right. This all feels wrong.]

...s-so what, then?

[If he doesn't hate him...what's the alternative? Breaking off their friendship? Going their seperate ways?]

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